"I attempted suicide five times."

I am starting up a new Stay Strong Project, where I'm going to be interviewing a bunch of incredibly strong and inspiring people, and sharing their stories with you. Nothing is more inspiring or motivating than real life stories about real people. Just to show you that you're not alone. There is always someone out there who gets exactly what you're going through.

Before we get started, I just want to send out a huge apology for not updating my blog in SO long. It's been nearly 5 months. There is no valid excuse for my laziness and lack of motivation but in my defense, I have been super busy with my engagement and then my exams and then so many other family issues and god knows what else. I will try my best to get back into a routine and keep you all happy while actually writing something worthwhile that hopefully reaches out to everyone struggling and gives them hope or puts a smile on their face.

This is such an inspirational story about such a beautiful 18 year old. I am so excited to share this interview with you.

Hello, thank you so much for willing to do this and help out with this project to inspire so many people. 

Hi! Thanks for letting me be a part  of this amazing project. I am here to share my own experience with bullying and other issues. 

My name is Aines. I am 18, and this is my senior year. I can't say bullying is over for me because it's not, but I am trying to fight back and most importantly STAY STRONG through it all. 

When did the bullying start?

I guess bullying started when i was about 8 years old, at school. I was bullied and tormented throughout most of my school days. 

Did you know why people were bullying you? 

You name it, I got bullied for it. Being one of the smart kids, being poor, not having nice clothes or my own car when I turned 15. I just didn't fit in with the other girls. I never did.

Were you physically or mentally bullied? 

I was beaten up, called names, made fun of, ostracized from most of my peers and was just made to feel like an outcast.

How did the bullying effect you?

They pushed me on lockers, laughed at me, hit me. It made me hate my life and myself. I wanted to just dissapear. I felt worthless, so I started cutting myself and I eventually became depressed..... Until Justin (Bieber) came along. He made me smile and just forget about the bullies. From his music, his interviews, his tweets, he somehow made me realize that there is some hope somewhere out there. He & his beliebers (Justin Bieber's enormous fanbase)  helped me stop cutting, and so did Bring Me The Horizon because Oli sykes always told us that we need to just let it out and remember that bullies are just haters and we can move on and fight back!

Did you stand up for yourself when you got bullied?
It's not that I didn't fight back. I can fight, In fact, I got into four fights in one school year, all on defending myself. However, I had to start fighting off of school grounds because all of this fighting was not looking good on my school record.

Did you ever mention the bullying to your parents or teachers? If yes, have they done something about it?
Yes, I did mention bullying to my parents, but they said you will move on and you will grow up.

How has your depression effected your life?
After I started cutting myself, I started getting more and more depressed and that was hard. It still is. I couldn't even go out. I didn't want to do anything or even see anyone. It's awful.
 What caused you to first attempt suicide? What was going on through your mind?

Some girls sent me an evil letter, telling me I am stupid, and worthless, and that I should die and just give up and kill myself.

That got to me. It pushed me over the edge. I couldn't stop crying for 3 hours straight. Then I got a blade out and cut my left wrist, hoping to bleed to death. I was rushed into the ER, and somehow, I was saved. I tried again. I tried to kill myself five times. 

How do you feel about those bullies today?

I'm not the type to hold a grudge. I'm very forgiving, and I'm cool with many of the folks that bullied me. Many of them have apologized to me and my mother for making my childhood hard. There is no weakness in forgiveness.

Do you have anything or anyone who helps you when you're down?
My faith in God, plus my strong willed nature and Beliebers' support have helped me to overcome my demons from the past. When Justin (Bieber) came along. He made me smile and just forget about the bullies. From his music, his interviews, his tweets, he somehow made me realize that there is some hope somewhere out there. He & his beliebers (Justin Bieber's enormous fanbase)  helped me stop cutting, and so did Bring Me The Horizon because Oli sykes always told us that we need to just let it out and remember that bullies are just haters and we can move on and fight back!

Would you say everything you've been through had made you a better person?
You have to move on, and not let bad moments turn you into a monster. I feel I became a better man as a result of my experiences. It all taught me a lot.

How are you feeling today?

I appreciate everything I have accomplished in life because I have earned it. I could have taken a left turn and ended up dead. But instead, I am a positive, educated, productive member of my society, and I am proud of who I am. Life is full of choices and I was determined at a young age that these mean children were not going to get the best of me. They all most did. But today, they motivate me and continue to do so to this day. 

What advice would you give people who are going through similar troubles as you?

Defend yourself. Stand strong and don't back down. Try to refrain from weapons if possible. Take up boxing or MMA at your local Y, gym, or join a self-defense class. Find an adult you trust to help. This can be a parent, guardian, teacher, coach, pastor or even a positive mentor. Let's end bullying once and for all.

If you want to directly contact Aines, you can find her on twitter: @crownthebiebz. 

Thank you for reading. If you want to submit your story or get interviewed, email me: staystrongyall@hotmail.com or leave your email in the comment section bellow and I will get back to you. 

Stay strong,
You're beautiful, and you better start believing it.
♥

Dealing with bullying.

"Nobody loves you, you may as well just kill yourself." "You're so fat, how can you even walk?" "You're too skinny, are you anorexic? Do you even eat?" 

Bullying. That dreadful behaviour that is such a common, wide-spread issue happening in schools everyday, all over the world.

Bullying has many forms, it can be verbal (when people insult you), psychological (spreading rumours about you, gossiping about you..etc) and physical (when you get pushed, tripped, punched, hit, beaten up, and in some cases, even sexually assaulted). It happens with both children and teenagers, and usually happens in schools. 

Bullying is an issue that should be taken more seriously. When a child speaks about being bullied to his/her parents (and that is rare), the parents don't class it as a serious issue, and just tell their children to stand up for themselves or to ignore it. Unfortunately, dealing with bullying isn't simple as that. Parents should support their children, investigate into this bullying, talk to the teachers/principal/parents of the bully, try and end this.

How to deal with bullying:

It is hard to deal with being bullied. Most people usually say to just ignore, but honestly, you shouldn't ignore it, you should face it, deal with it and try to stop it. Here's a few steps:

• If you are bullied: don't be afraid to report the bullies to your teachers or the principal. Talk to your parents about it, explain to them what these people do/say and how it effects you. Your parents/teachers can't help unless you tell them about it. It also helps talking to your friends, or anyone else about it. Bottling up your emotions and feelings, and keeping everything to yourself has a bad effect on you. If you can, stand up to these bullies. If you show them that they don't effect you, they will back off. Bullies love seeing a reaction, whether is fear, sadness, hurt... that's what they're looking for. Don't let them see how their words or actions effect you.
• If you know someone who is bullied: whether it's your friend, your neighbour, your class-mate, your cousin... It's always great to stand up for them if you see them being bullied. It might be an easy thing for you, especially if you are confident or able to stand up to those bullies, but it helps tremendously the bullied. Encourage them to talk about it, and report it or try to stand up for themselves. (Basically tell them what I have put above to the people who are bullied).
• If your child is bullied: support them emotionally, be there for them, make them know how much you love them, and that they're great, special, important individuals. It's also important to talk to the teachers and even contact the parents of the bully. If it doesn't stop, don't give up. I know parents who have moved towns to get their kid into a better school because they were bullied in their previous ones. As a parent, your child will expect you to protect them, so it's your duty to stop the bullying and help your child deal with it. Encourage them to speak up and defend themselves. Don't be harsh on them, try to understand what they're going through. Being bullied can have a permanent, negative effect on your child's life. It must be stopped and dealt with in the correct manner.

Being bullied can lead to mental issues such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-harm disorders, and  low-self esteem, lack of confidence, insecurity. It can even lead to suicide. Proof: Amanda Todd.
No matter what a person does or looks like, no body deserves to be bullied. No one.

Bullies are most likely to have a criminal record and end up in prison when older. They are the kind of people who somehow enjoy hurting people and putting them down. Some do it because of a previous, damaging experience, and some do it to hide their lack of confidence, low self-esteem and the weakness. They do it to feel powerful and somehow get respect from others. It is important for teachers/parents to make the bully understand that bullying is wrong and doesn't help them. If they think that the bully has mental issues, he should get treated. I'm not saying don't punish the bully and just be kind on them. It depends on the type of bully and why they do that. Some bullies need help, some need to be punished, and it's up the parent/guardian to determine what to do to the bully and how to stop him bullying others.

People need to realise that no matter whether they're skinny, fat, medium, curvy, white, black, Asian, gay, straight, bisexual, pretty, "ugly"... or whatever, they are humans, they don't deserve to be put down for what they have or what they don't have. We are all humans, we all deserve to feel smart, happy, confident. We all deserve to be loved. Non of us deserve to be bullied. We are all different. Don't change yourself to fit in with society's rules. Be yourself and embrace yourself for who you are, because that's you, that's what makes you beautiful, unique and special. Not everyone might see your good qualities (yes, you DO have some brilliant qualities), but that doesn't mean you don't have any. People will start to notice if you embrace yourself and feel proud of yourself and who you are.

"You are born original, don't die a copy."

Remember, I'm always here for you if you want to talk or need help or advice. Just contact me, okay?

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.
♥

Cyberbullying!

Almost all teenagers today use the Internet. It's a huge part of their lives. Sadly, it isn't a perfect place to be. Things such as cyber bullying occur and it can get to the point where the victim ends their life. Perfect example? Amanda Todd.


"Cyberbullying" is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyberstalking is NEVER called cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying can sometimes be worse than bullying at school, because these comments or posts are always there for everyone to see. These words constantly haunt the victim, and causes them a lot of emotional trauma. They feel sad, humiliated, embarrassed, angry, scared and hurt. People say that words don't hurt, but that's untrue. All it takes is one hurtful word to slip out that brings someone's self-esteem crashing down. Yet, it takes hundreds, if not thousands of compliments to bring their self-esteem back up. And no one deserves to suffer from having such low-esteem to the point that they feel like they don't belong, that they aren't loved nor wanted, they might even get suicidal thoughts. Then what if they act upon these thoughts successfully and commit suicide? How would you be able to live with yourself? It's easier to keep these comments to yourself no matter what you think of that person. No matter how they dress, how they look, what they believe in, whether they're straight, bisexual, gay, over weight, have bad grades, are single, no longer virgins, going out with your ex... You have no right to insult them or put them down. It's their life, their decisions. You might not think it's right, hell, they might even not think it's right either, so they probably torment themselves about these decisions enough for you to do it too! Just let them be.

It's hard to ignore these hurtful comments. I've been called a whore, ugly, a terrorist, stupid, fat, constantly bullied and picked on because of my decisions. At first, I stayed strong and these words didn't effect me, yet, they kept coming and coming and coming and at some point they started hurting me. I'd read someone's comment, and I feel like someone just punched me straight in the face or a truck hit me. But then I pulled myself together and became determined to stay strong and defend myself so I would kindly respond to their messages by saying something clever but not insulting (kill 'em with kindness! Don't bully them in return.) The things I was sent came from anonymous people, so I could even block them! I then decided to just delete that account and move on. It was an ask.fm account. Then I just had to work on bringing my self-esteem back up which wasn't easy! But, I'm getting there.

If you're cyberbullied, I highly suggest you speak to someone about it, not necessarily reporting it (you can if it's threats) but just let someone know what's going on because you need support through this. Preferably, speak to your friend/partner about it, as parents tend to focus on the bad language more than how the comments effect you. But, if you feel like you can talk to your parents about it, then go ahead. It's good for them to be aware of what's going on in your life. Just try and explain how these comments are effecting you if they don't seem understanding at first. If you can't talk to them, or can't talk to a friend or whoever for whatever reason, then contact me! I'm here for you.

You should also delete these comments if possible, if not, just report them online (you can usually do that on sites like twitter, facebook, tumblr... ect) also if they're your "friend" on facebook or wherever, block and delete them. People who bring you down don't deserve to be in your life, and you certainly don't need such horrid people in yours either! If these comments become threatening, depending on where you live, you should be able to report it to the police. Don't be afraid, do it! These people will stop.

Try not to let these comments effect you, most people cyberbully to feel like they've got power, or to seem 'cool', or they're just jealous of you and they want to bring you down! Don't let them achieve what they want. Come out of this stronger and smile. Show them that their comments don't and never will effect you negatively. Focus on the positive side of this: it will all make you a stronger person. :)

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.
♥