It Isn't Your Fault.

I got a comment from somebody Anonymous yesterday, and as I started to reply, I decided to write up a post instead. Because a little comment wasn't enough. And because so many people struggle with similar issues like this one.

Before I start, can I just say that no matter who you are, where you come from, how old you are, what you've done, or if you're a boy or a girl. Your welcome here.
I've noticed that people assume these issues are something girls go through. Boys have feelings too. It's okay to be upset. To love. To cry. To struggle with something. All you boys out there are more than welcome here.

We all have bad days. We all struggle with something every now and again. Whether it's parents divorcing, friends turning on you, bad accidents... You get the idea. It isn't your fault. No matter how you act, how angry or happy you make your parents, if they aren't happy together, they will divorce. But it has nothing to do with you. You can't blame yourself. They just weren't happy together anymore.

It's the same thing with loosing your friends. If you know you made a mistake and you can identify it, then apologise to them, and try to gain their trust again. But if you guys just don't get along anymore, don't blame yourself. People change, they mature and grow. They develop different ideas about things. They start wanting different things from life. They start having different goals. Then you maybe won't have anything in common anymore and just don't see a future for your friendship. Some friendships survive a lot, but others don't. If a friendship ends like this, don't blame yourself and feel guilty. Don't let it bring you or your confidence down. There are billions of people on this planet. Are you trying to tell me that you won't find one good, loyal friend out of billions? Go out, smile, be friendly. Meet new people. Just remember to be yourself. You will meet idiots. But you will meet good people too. Meeting idiots means you learn how to deal with them and cut them out of your life. Meeting good people means, hopefully, a start of a healthy friendship. Take a risk!

If you have fake friends who constantly put you down, cut the friendship. In my opinion, this is a form of bullying. Friends aren't meant to make you feel bad about yourself. It's called a toxic friendship. End it! You deserve good friends. People who love you for who you are. People you can trust. People you can talk to about anything. People you can laugh with. People who you're comfortable being yourself around. People who won't judge you. People who have your back no matter what. That's what friendship is about. And you deserve a proper friendship. Don't try arguing with me about that. No matter who you are, no matter what you have done, you deserve another chance. You deserve your own shot at happiness. You deserve good friends. It's okay to be happy and let life look up for you. No one deserves to be unhappy.

Loosing someone you love, seeing someone you love get hurt, witnessing a car accident, or anything like that, please know that it isn't your fault. Don't go around blaming yourself.
"If only I did this.." "If only I was a few minutes early, this wouldn't have happened..."
STOP THOSE THOUGHTS.
I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. No matter how shitty life can get. And how horrible things happen everyday. I honestly believe that there is good in every horrible thing that happened. Anyone can teach themselves to look at the positive things in life. Looking at the negative, you will be unhappy. And to be happy again, you have to change. It's okay to be sad and to cry. But it's not okay to be sad and to cry all the time. Take your time to mourn, to be sad, to cry, to let your feelings out. Then wipe away those tears, tell yourself that you're strong enough to get through this, put a smile on your face and look at the positive thing from your situation. If you can't, focus on life's positive sides.

I'll leave you guys with a beautiful quote:
"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they find the best in everything they have."
Think about it.

Stay strong.
♥

"I attempted suicide five times."

I am starting up a new Stay Strong Project, where I'm going to be interviewing a bunch of incredibly strong and inspiring people, and sharing their stories with you. Nothing is more inspiring or motivating than real life stories about real people. Just to show you that you're not alone. There is always someone out there who gets exactly what you're going through.

Before we get started, I just want to send out a huge apology for not updating my blog in SO long. It's been nearly 5 months. There is no valid excuse for my laziness and lack of motivation but in my defense, I have been super busy with my engagement and then my exams and then so many other family issues and god knows what else. I will try my best to get back into a routine and keep you all happy while actually writing something worthwhile that hopefully reaches out to everyone struggling and gives them hope or puts a smile on their face.

This is such an inspirational story about such a beautiful 18 year old. I am so excited to share this interview with you.

Hello, thank you so much for willing to do this and help out with this project to inspire so many people. 

Hi! Thanks for letting me be a part  of this amazing project. I am here to share my own experience with bullying and other issues. 

My name is Aines. I am 18, and this is my senior year. I can't say bullying is over for me because it's not, but I am trying to fight back and most importantly STAY STRONG through it all. 

When did the bullying start?

I guess bullying started when i was about 8 years old, at school. I was bullied and tormented throughout most of my school days. 

Did you know why people were bullying you? 

You name it, I got bullied for it. Being one of the smart kids, being poor, not having nice clothes or my own car when I turned 15. I just didn't fit in with the other girls. I never did.

Were you physically or mentally bullied? 

I was beaten up, called names, made fun of, ostracized from most of my peers and was just made to feel like an outcast.

How did the bullying effect you?

They pushed me on lockers, laughed at me, hit me. It made me hate my life and myself. I wanted to just dissapear. I felt worthless, so I started cutting myself and I eventually became depressed..... Until Justin (Bieber) came along. He made me smile and just forget about the bullies. From his music, his interviews, his tweets, he somehow made me realize that there is some hope somewhere out there. He & his beliebers (Justin Bieber's enormous fanbase)  helped me stop cutting, and so did Bring Me The Horizon because Oli sykes always told us that we need to just let it out and remember that bullies are just haters and we can move on and fight back!

Did you stand up for yourself when you got bullied?
It's not that I didn't fight back. I can fight, In fact, I got into four fights in one school year, all on defending myself. However, I had to start fighting off of school grounds because all of this fighting was not looking good on my school record.

Did you ever mention the bullying to your parents or teachers? If yes, have they done something about it?
Yes, I did mention bullying to my parents, but they said you will move on and you will grow up.

How has your depression effected your life?
After I started cutting myself, I started getting more and more depressed and that was hard. It still is. I couldn't even go out. I didn't want to do anything or even see anyone. It's awful.
 What caused you to first attempt suicide? What was going on through your mind?

Some girls sent me an evil letter, telling me I am stupid, and worthless, and that I should die and just give up and kill myself.

That got to me. It pushed me over the edge. I couldn't stop crying for 3 hours straight. Then I got a blade out and cut my left wrist, hoping to bleed to death. I was rushed into the ER, and somehow, I was saved. I tried again. I tried to kill myself five times. 

How do you feel about those bullies today?

I'm not the type to hold a grudge. I'm very forgiving, and I'm cool with many of the folks that bullied me. Many of them have apologized to me and my mother for making my childhood hard. There is no weakness in forgiveness.

Do you have anything or anyone who helps you when you're down?
My faith in God, plus my strong willed nature and Beliebers' support have helped me to overcome my demons from the past. When Justin (Bieber) came along. He made me smile and just forget about the bullies. From his music, his interviews, his tweets, he somehow made me realize that there is some hope somewhere out there. He & his beliebers (Justin Bieber's enormous fanbase)  helped me stop cutting, and so did Bring Me The Horizon because Oli sykes always told us that we need to just let it out and remember that bullies are just haters and we can move on and fight back!

Would you say everything you've been through had made you a better person?
You have to move on, and not let bad moments turn you into a monster. I feel I became a better man as a result of my experiences. It all taught me a lot.

How are you feeling today?

I appreciate everything I have accomplished in life because I have earned it. I could have taken a left turn and ended up dead. But instead, I am a positive, educated, productive member of my society, and I am proud of who I am. Life is full of choices and I was determined at a young age that these mean children were not going to get the best of me. They all most did. But today, they motivate me and continue to do so to this day. 

What advice would you give people who are going through similar troubles as you?

Defend yourself. Stand strong and don't back down. Try to refrain from weapons if possible. Take up boxing or MMA at your local Y, gym, or join a self-defense class. Find an adult you trust to help. This can be a parent, guardian, teacher, coach, pastor or even a positive mentor. Let's end bullying once and for all.

If you want to directly contact Aines, you can find her on twitter: @crownthebiebz. 

Thank you for reading. If you want to submit your story or get interviewed, email me: staystrongyall@hotmail.com or leave your email in the comment section bellow and I will get back to you. 

Stay strong,
You're beautiful, and you better start believing it.
♥

Depressed?

"Look up to the sky. This will work well today because the sky is blue. Can you hear the birds singing? Well this is your planet. Whether you believe in God or not it’s pretty flipping brilliant. 
Every time you see something bad, blink again and see something amazing. So, for example: it’s raining. That water has been around since the beginning of time. Those atoms have shifted and changed formation but has been in existence since forever. They’ve seen so many lives and been digested by so many people. And so have you. You are made up of the atoms from stars. 
You are a marvel of fate or chance or whatever you believe in. Trillions of cells make up your body each containing a recipe for you that is unique to anything the world has ever seen. 
You could feel this makes you insignificant, and it does in the scene of things but actually it make you important. You are part of all this whether you like it or not. You’re destined to exist and if any one person is not here the whole world shifts because we all affect each other.
Remember half of you was the winning sperm and no-one can ever take that way from you, not this illness, not anyone. You are YOU. 
You have a brain and most importantly the most amazing thing created so far. Consciousness. 
You’re beautiful, intelligent and you have everything going for you. The world can be yours if you reach out and grab it.
Now smile, you’re ALIVE. And I believe that the purpose of being alive is to be happy and for those around you to be. So as long as anyone is conscious they can be happy because there will always be something to smile about – you’re able to think that. 
So you look at that sky and you say wow."

Stay strong,
I promise, you're beautiful.
♥

We are humans

No one should feel the need to hide their emotions and feelings. Stop saying, "I'm fine." and then wondering why nobody understands you, supports you, is there for you and helps you through life's obstacles. People aren't psychic, we need to tell them how they feel for them to help us. No, it isn't attention seeking. It's just asking for help. Help we all need. We are humans. We all need help, support, attention, love and affection.

We're all walking around with those glossy eyes. "I'm just tired," we say. But you know what? It's bullshit. Yes, we are tired, but it's not all from lack of sleep. We are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. We're tired of this void, this emptiness that presses down on us even though we're surrounded by dozens of people. So why can't we just say it? Humans are so afraid to look into each other's eyes and say, "I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and fallible." We've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if those feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. Well, I say: screw all of that. Screw forces smiles and polite handshakes, and I'm fine, thank yous. Screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies we spit out to cover up our problems. We are humans. We are meant to feel. To feel everything and to feel it all openly. We are not metal - we are flesh and bone. Our boiled blood courses through or cold, clammy hands. We are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts, because if we do, then what's left to show?

I am here for you.
Stay strong,
You're insanely beautiful.
♥

How can I stay strong?

Everyone tells others to stay strong when they are going through a hard time. It seems like the typical thing to say now, especially between teenagers, but when I go through a hard time and people tell me to stay strong, I would sometimes think, "How can I stay strong, huh? It's easier said than done." Yes, it is.

Well, after years of pain, hardships, nightmares, tears and more pain (lol, i sound like a freaking 99 year old or something) I have reached the grand age of 16, when I'm wise enough to put together a few tips on how to stay strong.

1. Cry: this sounds a little ironic because staying strong shouldn't mean crying and being "weak"... Crying usually says that we have been strong for too long. We are humans, the first step into becoming strong is just breaking down and crying it all out. Whether it's a few minutes or a few hours, just sit down, play a good emotional song, and just weep, sob, wail, scream... do the whole thing. Let all that anger, pain and frustration out. 
2. Why should I stay strong? You can't stay strong through all of those hard times without knowing why you're staying strong. I can't tell you what the reasons are that you want to stay strong, because we are all different and we all have different lives, different stories and different reasons! But on a more general note: we all have a future, we are all going to graduate, move out of our parents' house, and then, all of those problems you had at school and home will be so stupid and so distant. You will have a new chance to have a different life. Everyday is a new chance in my opinion, but moving out/graduating is a whole different thing. It's where you're out there meeting new people, living with different ones, seeing different ones everyday. You won't be stuck in school with your bullies forever, you won't be imprisoned with your abusive brother forever, you won't be scared by that creepy neighbour forever. Everything ends. And you're staying strong, waiting for your problems to end where you can have a new start. Your problems will be solved, your issues will end. You don't even have to wait until you can move away from your problems, you can deal with them, face them and try to terminate them for good. 
3. Accept what you're going through: whether you deserve it or not, whether your brought it on yourself or not, it is important to accept who you are, what is happening, what you are going through. This is life, don't expect it to be perfect. It can't be. And it would probably be boring anyway if it was. Just smile, and accept that you're going through problems. I've noticed that once I accept what I'm going through, it suddenly changes for the better.
4. Physical strength: If you get insulted or hear things that bring you down, then make your muscles tense, that makes you feel strong physically and help you feel strong mentally.
5. Accept your emotions: acknowledge your emotions and accept them. This will help you change your emotions into happier ones that help you to stay strong. 
6. Do the opposite of what your emotions tell you to think: this makes you stronger emotionally.
7. Laugh: whether you want to look something funny up, or just lie down and laugh for no reason. When I went to school, in 10th grade, our arabic teacher once cleared all the desks, put a little mat on the floor, told all the students to lay down our heads together to form a sort of circle, turned the lights off, then he'd crack a stupid joke and we'd all start laughing, and trust me, once one started, everyone joined in. We laughed for AGES. And let me tell you, we felt happy, relaxed and strong for like weeks afterwards. You should really try it out with your friends.

And just smile. Make the most of every day you have. Be grateful for what you have, some people would do anything to get an extra day where they're healthy, surrounded by their family and actually have a home. There is always somebody going through MUCH worse than you are, so just take a moment and feel happy, proud for who you are and grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have.

Remember, I'm always here for you. 

Stay strong,

You're beautiful.

♥

Inspirational stories.

I've been working on a few blog posts that involve bullying, suicide, dealing with people, boosting your confidence and much more. It's taking a while because I want all my posts to be perfect, or close to perfect. So, I've decided to share with you a few inspirational stories about troubled teenagers recovering and growing into great adults!

Danielle's Struggle to Find Acceptance

Danielle grew up in a household where her parents were heavy drug users and alcoholics. Strangers came in and out of the house at all hours of the night. One night, a man came into Danielle's room and raped her. She was 13. She told her parents, who dismissed it, saying that she must have just had a nightmare. Danielle decided to run away from home and become a member of a popular gang in the community.She became very close to these people and admired them. They weren't the best role models for her, but she figured they cared more about her than her own parents. She felt that she'd better do what they wanted, or they might turn their backs on her too. She began stealing, assaulting people, and using drugs and alcohol. Shortly after, she ended up spending five years in a juvenile detention center for her crimes.While there, she started therapy and found a religion that she found comfort in. She learned why she joined the gang and how her life spiraled out of control. By the time her sentence was up, she was a public speaker and a peer mentor to some of the younger detainees. After her release, she attended college and became a child psychologist.

Amanda's Search for Real Love

When Amanda was seven years old, her father left her mother. This devastated her mother, and she began drinking heavily. One night, her mother went to jail for several DUIs and other charges. The court decided she was an unfit mother, and since there was no other family available to take care of Amanda, she went into the foster care system.
At first, it was great, because she finally was able to be a part of a family that really cared about her, or so she thought. A couple weeks after she moved in, her foster parents decided that it wasn't going to work, so Amanda was sent to another home. The second home wasn't as nice as the first one, but they took care of her better than her mother did. However, after three weeks, the agency determined that the foster home was not appropriate for foster care and Amanda went somewhere else. At her third foster home, she once again found a loving family. She stayed for four months and she finally thought she had found her home - that is until the family decided not to participate in foster care any longer.
By the sixth home, Amanda convinced herself that no one wanted her in this world. To alleviate those feelings, she started to dress in a way that would gain her a lot of attention and she would accept whatever affection she could get. This meant that she was highly promiscuous and put herself at risk for STDs and pregnancy. Actually, she said that she didn't care if she got pregnant because she wouldn't mind having a little baby to hold, cuddle, and love.
About a year later, Amanda did become pregnant, and the father didn't want anything to do with the baby. She was 15 and expecting a child. Since her foster parents weren't equipped to care for a baby, she was once again sent to another foster home. Not only did she bounce from home to home, her baby ended up having the same fate - that is until she finally found the one family that accepted her for who she was.
Because of this family's commitment, care, and love for Amanda, she was able to finish high school and attend college. It wasn't easy. She had to work two jobs, pay for childcare, and do her coursework, while taking care of her child. All the hard work paid off. She ended up graduating with a business degree and is the childcare director of a day care center.

Jessica's Rebellion Against Authority

Jessica came from a loving, affluent home. The only problem was that Jessica never felt good enough. Her parents wanted her to be the best at everything, and they wanted her to consider them her best friends. When Jessica reached adolescence, she decided that she could not take her parent's demands any longer and did everything she could to go against her parents' wishes, which included joining the wrong crowd, drinking, using drugs, and committing crimes. Her parents had no idea what had gotten into her and feared for her future. Jessica didn't care that she was headed down a bleak path. Her parents signed her up for a wilderness camp.
The wilderness camp involved vigorous activities and many scare straight tactics. Jessica was reminded everyday that if she didn't shape up, she would end up suffering consequences much worse in jail or prison. Once the camp was over, Jessica went home as a completely different and new individual. Her parents understand where they went wrong through family counseling, and they were as happy to have their daughter back as Jessica was to be back.

Stay strong, 

You're so beautiful.

♥

Feeling suicidal?

"Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this:

    You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the

 letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. 

    A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. 

    The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. 

   Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. 

   It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. 

It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. 

People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you."

Stay strong,

You're beautiful.

♥

Self-harm

One in four teenagers self-harm. Yes, you read it right: one in four! Yet, this issue seems to have an unspoken rule that no one speaks of it, people act like it doesn't exist, when it does, and it is quite a serious issue.

Basically, self-harm is when people feel lost, angry, worthless, lonely, depressed, dead, sad, helpless, or/and hopeless they either cut themselves, burn themselves, pull their hair out (hair, eyebrows, eyelashes), swallow too many pills, stab themselves, bang their bodies against a wall, or any other way that causes themselves pain. It makes them feel alive, it can numb the pain, or have other effects. It just help them feel better for a short period of time, it's a way out. It is like a sort of drug, and yes, you get addicted to it after a while.

Why do people self-harm?

It's a way of dealing with very difficult feelings that build up inside. You may:

-Feel desperate about a problem and don't know where to turn for help. You feel trapped and helpless. When you self-harm, you feel more in control.

-Your feelings of anger or tension get bottled up inside until you feel like exploding. Self-harm relieves this tension.
Have feelings of guilt or shame that become unbearable - self-harm can be a way to punish yourself.

-You feel detached from the world and your body. This can be a way of coping with distressing experiences, such as trauma or abuse - by convincing yourself that it didn't happen, you avoid the pain of the memory but feel emotionally numb or dead. Self-harm is a way of feeling more connected and alive.


Treatment:

-Talking to someone can help you feel less alone, to see your problems more clearly. The following treatments may help:

-Self-help groups help people with similar problems to give each other support and practical advice – believe it or not, sharing problems in a group does help.

Group therapy can often help you sort out difficulties in getting on with other people. Talking therapies - including problem solving, cognitive behavioural therapy or psychodynamic psychotherapy - can all help. Some evidence suggests that problem-solving therapy may be beneficial too.

If you don't feel brave enough to join groups to get help, feel free to contact me. I have struggled with this issue for a couple of years and I think I have finally over come it, so, I do understand, I can listen and I will help.

One in three people who self-harm will do it again within a year if they don’t get help. People who self-harm are 50 times more likely to kill themselves. So please, get help!

What can I do if I know someone who self-harms?


-Listen to them without being critical. This can be very hard if you're upset or angry, but try to focus on them rather than your feelings.

-Try to understand their feelings, and then move the conversation to other things.

-Take the mystery out of self-harm by helping them find out more on the internet or at the library.

-Help them to think about their self-harm not as a shameful secret, but as a problem to be sorted out.

And please understand, it's not as simple as going into therapy or something and just stopping. You may need to convince them to stop self-harm. Yes, easier said than done, but here's something I wrote a while ago that will give you some ideas.

"Dear self-harmer,

So you hurt yourself? I did too. You realise that you have to stop? I realised too.
It might help during that moment, but then, all these emotions come crashing back worse than ever. It will only damage your body, leave ugly scars that will remind you of that dreaded pain everyday. And does it help solve your problems? No. So why do it? It will only harm you emotionally and physically, and hurt your family and friends when/if they find out. Long story short: it's crap and it won't change a thing."

Instead of hurting yourself, speak to someone (don't know who to talk to? I am here to listen! Contact me.), listen to music, watch a movie, go help your mum, do some homework, read a book, play sports, just do anything to keep your mind off of self-harm. I used to be like, "I'll wash up then I'll cut." Then when I washed up and I still felt the urge to do it, I'd be like, "I'll check my facebook then I'll cut." and it goes on until that urge finally went away, I know, it's hard! But you have to be strong, okay?

If you really must hurt yourself, take a cold shower, hold ice-cubes tightly in your hand (add ketchup or something red for the blood effect if you must). Use a knife or a razor or something and cut up some vegetables or something (NOT YOURSELF!). If you feel like it isn't helping, try drawing cuts onto your skin using a red pen.

If you feel like crying, then cry. Cry until you don't have any tears left. Cry your eyes out. It always helps. Punch a wall, your cushions, your little sister's dolls and stuffed animals (don't let her see you, she won't be happy! lol). Scream into your pillow, put on a song super loud and shout along with it, dance, jump around.
Write your feelings into a diary or a letter (no one has to see it, but if you wish to send it to someone, go ahead), or, again, talk to someone! Getting a hug of off your mum, bestfriend, boyfriend/girlfriend is the best. If you can't talk to someone you know, I am here for you. Or speak to one of your online friends.

Do you self-harm because of bullies? Don't do it. Stay strong. You are above them. They just want to see you break down, so don't do it. Keep your head held high. It's hard, but you can do it.

I remember reading something Alfredo Flores said that slapped me in the face and greatly helped me stop self-harming: "No pain is great enough to cause you to self-harm." and he's right. You are beautiful, I don't care whether you believe it or not because you're beautiful and you better start believing it! To someone out there, you mean the world. They look at you and think you're the most beautiful person out there. No one is ugly, everyone is beautiful in someone's eyes. So you are above hurting yourself. Your beautiful body doesn't deserve it.

I self-harmed for over a year as I went through my father being in prison, and other painful memories that haunted me and made me feel so worthless and dirty, I hated myself, maybe I still do, but cutting was my way out, I hurt myself in other ways too, thinking I deserved the pain. My mother found out last summer, gave me an awful telling off about how I had a great life and I didn't have problems like I think I have, then she tried to get me to talk to her about it but I couldn't speak to her. She told me if she ever saw cuts again, she'd ban me from going online until I'm no longer under her responsibility. She thought I was attention seeking and posted about it online, when I did tweet about once only because I knew mum would be going on my twitter so it was like an indirect message to mum... Anyway, mum's threats didn't stop me from doing it, and I just learnt to be more sneaky with it and self-harmed where she wouldn't be able to see. I hide the scars with bracelets and stuff like that, my best friends found out eventually and they helped me stop. I knew I had to stop, I knew it wasn't good for me, but it was hard, I would occupy myself with things I had to do before I cut, I would let my list get longer and longer until that urge to cut disappeared, when I felt like crap, I'd speak to people, either about how I felt or about other things to make me forget about my feelings. I am still struggling with it, but I haven't done it in maybe around a month, and hopefully it'll stay this way. It gets really hard at times, but I have to stay strong, right? Just like you guys have to.

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.
♥

                                                          

Dear teenager,

Have you ever laid on your bed at night, and just cried? Cried because you’re ugly. Cried because you’re not good enough. Cried because you’ll never be. Cried because you counted your flaws from head to toe to punish yourself and feel worse about yourself. Cried because the comments people blurt out actually hurt your feelings. Cried because your family is dysfunctional. You don’t want to be a burden, so you bottled it all up. Around people, you’re the happiest ray of sunshine. But nobody knows, that at night when you’re alone, you break down and just cry.

It is the sad, true story of every teenager’s life. But why? Why can’t we all feel good about ourselves? Why can’t people be more understanding? Why is everything so complicated? Why are we never good enough? Why can’t we make everyone happy? Why can’t everything go smoothly?
The truth is, you, yes YOU, are beautiful, you are stunning, inside and out. Why? Because you are YOU. You may not be perfect, but in the end, who is? The answer? NOBODY. You mean the world to at least one person in this world, your mother, father, uncle, aunt, brother, sister, grandfather, grandmother, friend, teacher, neighbour or even someone you don’t even know exists! There will always be somebody there for you if you just give them a chance, and open your heart to them. You will be surprised at how understanding and nice people can be. You will realise that there is always someone going through exactly what you are going through, there will always be somebody there for you, beautiful, stunning you. I know that I will always be there for anyone of you. ANYONE!

 The person you are going to marry is probably walking the earth right now, they will love and cherish you, surely, that’s a reason to make you smile and keep fighting through all life’s obstacles.

Do you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other people’s life have we been in. Were we a part of someone’s life when their dream came true, or when their dream died? Did we keep trying to get in? As if we were somehow destined to be there or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think that you could be in a big part of someone else’s life, and not even know it.

You are beautiful, you are special, you are perfect for somebody, perfect in somebody’s eyes. Haters are out there to put you down, don’t let them get to you, life will teach them a lesson, and when that time comes, boy will they regret everything they have done.

Don’t underestimate anyone. Never. Everyone deserves a chance, a second chance, why not even a third chance? Be good to people, they will be good to you!

Stay strong. ♥