It Isn't Your Fault.

I got a comment from somebody Anonymous yesterday, and as I started to reply, I decided to write up a post instead. Because a little comment wasn't enough. And because so many people struggle with similar issues like this one.

Before I start, can I just say that no matter who you are, where you come from, how old you are, what you've done, or if you're a boy or a girl. Your welcome here.
I've noticed that people assume these issues are something girls go through. Boys have feelings too. It's okay to be upset. To love. To cry. To struggle with something. All you boys out there are more than welcome here.

We all have bad days. We all struggle with something every now and again. Whether it's parents divorcing, friends turning on you, bad accidents... You get the idea. It isn't your fault. No matter how you act, how angry or happy you make your parents, if they aren't happy together, they will divorce. But it has nothing to do with you. You can't blame yourself. They just weren't happy together anymore.

It's the same thing with loosing your friends. If you know you made a mistake and you can identify it, then apologise to them, and try to gain their trust again. But if you guys just don't get along anymore, don't blame yourself. People change, they mature and grow. They develop different ideas about things. They start wanting different things from life. They start having different goals. Then you maybe won't have anything in common anymore and just don't see a future for your friendship. Some friendships survive a lot, but others don't. If a friendship ends like this, don't blame yourself and feel guilty. Don't let it bring you or your confidence down. There are billions of people on this planet. Are you trying to tell me that you won't find one good, loyal friend out of billions? Go out, smile, be friendly. Meet new people. Just remember to be yourself. You will meet idiots. But you will meet good people too. Meeting idiots means you learn how to deal with them and cut them out of your life. Meeting good people means, hopefully, a start of a healthy friendship. Take a risk!

If you have fake friends who constantly put you down, cut the friendship. In my opinion, this is a form of bullying. Friends aren't meant to make you feel bad about yourself. It's called a toxic friendship. End it! You deserve good friends. People who love you for who you are. People you can trust. People you can talk to about anything. People you can laugh with. People who you're comfortable being yourself around. People who won't judge you. People who have your back no matter what. That's what friendship is about. And you deserve a proper friendship. Don't try arguing with me about that. No matter who you are, no matter what you have done, you deserve another chance. You deserve your own shot at happiness. You deserve good friends. It's okay to be happy and let life look up for you. No one deserves to be unhappy.

Loosing someone you love, seeing someone you love get hurt, witnessing a car accident, or anything like that, please know that it isn't your fault. Don't go around blaming yourself.
"If only I did this.." "If only I was a few minutes early, this wouldn't have happened..."
STOP THOSE THOUGHTS.
I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. No matter how shitty life can get. And how horrible things happen everyday. I honestly believe that there is good in every horrible thing that happened. Anyone can teach themselves to look at the positive things in life. Looking at the negative, you will be unhappy. And to be happy again, you have to change. It's okay to be sad and to cry. But it's not okay to be sad and to cry all the time. Take your time to mourn, to be sad, to cry, to let your feelings out. Then wipe away those tears, tell yourself that you're strong enough to get through this, put a smile on your face and look at the positive thing from your situation. If you can't, focus on life's positive sides.

I'll leave you guys with a beautiful quote:
"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they find the best in everything they have."
Think about it.

Stay strong.
♥

I get it.

I get it. I know what if feels like. To feel like you don't even matter to anyone, to feel like nobody wants you around. To feel like nobody wants to talk to you, spend time with or call you their friend. To spend lunch alone listening to music and waiting for it to be over so you can go to class where it looks like you're concentrating, but you just don't have any friends to get distracted by. And it doesn't even matter anyways, because you aren't even paying attention. You're wishing you could be anywhere else but this world, because even the teacher picks on you. Then in gym you put on sweats and a hoodie to hide your scars, even though you're already too hot. You get picked last, again. Then you finally go home and cry or cut and just lay there numb in your room, hoping your parents don't come and make you do stuff. At dinner, you barely eat anything because you feel too fat, even though you aren't. Then finally, you get to go to bed and finally sleep. But not yet, because your thoughts are gonna keep you up for hours, thinking about dying and how no one likes you. How you're pathetic in every way. You finally fall asleep and have a terrible dream. Or a dream about good old memories which makes you want and miss them more more. But you know they're never coming back. I get it.

I just lay in my bed, thinking about everything. Thinking about the people who have walked in and out of my life without saying goodbye. The guys I've liked who have played me, or used me. I think about how dumb I was to get my hopes up too fast. I think about school and how I should try a lot harder. I think about I care about what others think about me. I really shouldn't care because this is me and no one can change that. I think about my family and how close we all used to be, now we're drifting slowly and painfully. I think about later on in life, and how I'm going to turn out. Then I just close my eyes and cry. Cry because of sadness. Because of anger. I'm depressed and it hurts. Especially at night. When I just want life to end.

But then, you get through that phase. After endless nights of crying, hurting, tormenting yourself over something you said or did, you just realise that there is no point. You're a human, you're going to make mistakes. Not everyone is going to accept you. But there'll always be someone who wants to be your friend. You're never alone no matter what you're going through, someone is always there who can understand you. One day, you will realise that you are good enough, you will stop caring about what people think. You finally surround yourself by people who love you and ignore all people who don't like you because, well, that's their problem, not yours!

HEY YOU... yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else, that person probably wants to be someone else too! Or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Someone completely different likes you! Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. They really aren't worth your time. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things, you wouldn't be you. And that you is unique. There is no one who is exactly like you. Never has been, never will be. And why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates you because you are happy with yourself. Then stuff them! Your happiness will not depend on others anymore. Say to them, "I am happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me, me. And that "me" is pretty darn amazing." they will stop harassing you. They will actually get jealous and want to have the same attitude as you. Just live your life the way you want to. Live your life to make yourself happy. Stop caring about people who want to bring you down. They'll grow up one day and focus on themselves.

Be positive, beautiful. Embrace yourself for who you are. Someone out there thinks you're perfect.


Stay strong, okay?
I'm always here for any of you.
You're so beautiful.
♥