"I attempted suicide five times."

I am starting up a new Stay Strong Project, where I'm going to be interviewing a bunch of incredibly strong and inspiring people, and sharing their stories with you. Nothing is more inspiring or motivating than real life stories about real people. Just to show you that you're not alone. There is always someone out there who gets exactly what you're going through.

Before we get started, I just want to send out a huge apology for not updating my blog in SO long. It's been nearly 5 months. There is no valid excuse for my laziness and lack of motivation but in my defense, I have been super busy with my engagement and then my exams and then so many other family issues and god knows what else. I will try my best to get back into a routine and keep you all happy while actually writing something worthwhile that hopefully reaches out to everyone struggling and gives them hope or puts a smile on their face.

This is such an inspirational story about such a beautiful 18 year old. I am so excited to share this interview with you.

Hello, thank you so much for willing to do this and help out with this project to inspire so many people. 

Hi! Thanks for letting me be a part  of this amazing project. I am here to share my own experience with bullying and other issues. 

My name is Aines. I am 18, and this is my senior year. I can't say bullying is over for me because it's not, but I am trying to fight back and most importantly STAY STRONG through it all. 

When did the bullying start?

I guess bullying started when i was about 8 years old, at school. I was bullied and tormented throughout most of my school days. 

Did you know why people were bullying you? 

You name it, I got bullied for it. Being one of the smart kids, being poor, not having nice clothes or my own car when I turned 15. I just didn't fit in with the other girls. I never did.

Were you physically or mentally bullied? 

I was beaten up, called names, made fun of, ostracized from most of my peers and was just made to feel like an outcast.

How did the bullying effect you?

They pushed me on lockers, laughed at me, hit me. It made me hate my life and myself. I wanted to just dissapear. I felt worthless, so I started cutting myself and I eventually became depressed..... Until Justin (Bieber) came along. He made me smile and just forget about the bullies. From his music, his interviews, his tweets, he somehow made me realize that there is some hope somewhere out there. He & his beliebers (Justin Bieber's enormous fanbase)  helped me stop cutting, and so did Bring Me The Horizon because Oli sykes always told us that we need to just let it out and remember that bullies are just haters and we can move on and fight back!

Did you stand up for yourself when you got bullied?
It's not that I didn't fight back. I can fight, In fact, I got into four fights in one school year, all on defending myself. However, I had to start fighting off of school grounds because all of this fighting was not looking good on my school record.

Did you ever mention the bullying to your parents or teachers? If yes, have they done something about it?
Yes, I did mention bullying to my parents, but they said you will move on and you will grow up.

How has your depression effected your life?
After I started cutting myself, I started getting more and more depressed and that was hard. It still is. I couldn't even go out. I didn't want to do anything or even see anyone. It's awful.
 What caused you to first attempt suicide? What was going on through your mind?

Some girls sent me an evil letter, telling me I am stupid, and worthless, and that I should die and just give up and kill myself.

That got to me. It pushed me over the edge. I couldn't stop crying for 3 hours straight. Then I got a blade out and cut my left wrist, hoping to bleed to death. I was rushed into the ER, and somehow, I was saved. I tried again. I tried to kill myself five times. 

How do you feel about those bullies today?

I'm not the type to hold a grudge. I'm very forgiving, and I'm cool with many of the folks that bullied me. Many of them have apologized to me and my mother for making my childhood hard. There is no weakness in forgiveness.

Do you have anything or anyone who helps you when you're down?
My faith in God, plus my strong willed nature and Beliebers' support have helped me to overcome my demons from the past. When Justin (Bieber) came along. He made me smile and just forget about the bullies. From his music, his interviews, his tweets, he somehow made me realize that there is some hope somewhere out there. He & his beliebers (Justin Bieber's enormous fanbase)  helped me stop cutting, and so did Bring Me The Horizon because Oli sykes always told us that we need to just let it out and remember that bullies are just haters and we can move on and fight back!

Would you say everything you've been through had made you a better person?
You have to move on, and not let bad moments turn you into a monster. I feel I became a better man as a result of my experiences. It all taught me a lot.

How are you feeling today?

I appreciate everything I have accomplished in life because I have earned it. I could have taken a left turn and ended up dead. But instead, I am a positive, educated, productive member of my society, and I am proud of who I am. Life is full of choices and I was determined at a young age that these mean children were not going to get the best of me. They all most did. But today, they motivate me and continue to do so to this day. 

What advice would you give people who are going through similar troubles as you?

Defend yourself. Stand strong and don't back down. Try to refrain from weapons if possible. Take up boxing or MMA at your local Y, gym, or join a self-defense class. Find an adult you trust to help. This can be a parent, guardian, teacher, coach, pastor or even a positive mentor. Let's end bullying once and for all.

If you want to directly contact Aines, you can find her on twitter: @crownthebiebz. 

Thank you for reading. If you want to submit your story or get interviewed, email me: staystrongyall@hotmail.com or leave your email in the comment section bellow and I will get back to you. 

Stay strong,
You're beautiful, and you better start believing it.
♥

Since when did wanting attention become such a crime?

"She just wants attention."

That ridiculous phrase that everyone seems to say at one point. Since when did it become such a crime to want attention? We are humans. And whether you like to admit it or not, you want attention. It's only natural. We all want to feel loved, noticed and appreciated on different levels.

People wonder why suicide rates are raising like crazy. Those people who kill themselves do want help. They want to talk to someone and they want attention. But because society has made out wanting attention to be such a crime, people are afraid to speak up about how they feel and it will lead to disaster.

No one is an "attention whore", a term used commonly today. We are all different and each people need different levels of attention. It is part of the human nature. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

If you are going to call anyone who opens up, speaks about how they feel, hurt themselves in anyway attention whores and attention seekers, then they are going to get more and more afraid of speaking up and then everything will just get worse for them.

We are humans. We need to talk about how we feel. It's in our nature that we need other people. We can't live completely isolated. Even if it's from just one person, we all want attention. We all want to be noticed.
It's quite sad that when people hear about someone who has an eating disorder or they harm themselves, they say, "Oh, it's just another teenager who wants some attention."

First of all, NO. It's more than just attention. These are seriously, medically recognised mental disorders. Everyone should educate themselves more on these subjects.

Secondly, even if it was about attention, why is that such a bad deal? That person is hurting and they maybe just want somebody to care about them and be there for them.

If that's such a huge crime, then I'm moving to the moon.

If we really want to help people and be there for them. We need to get the idea that everything people do is just attention seeking. We also need to accept that it's normal to want attention. It's part of human nature. If someone needs attention and wants to feel noticed, loved and cared about. Give them some of your attention. It seriously won't hurt!

But keep in mind that some people have attention disorders like ADD. So it would be good to look up on those kind of disorders and educate yourself on them so that you know how to deal with people who suffer from those kind of disorders.


This has turned out to be some kind of rant. I'm sorry if this is short. But yeah, I just wanted to get something out there.

Wanting attention isn't a crime!

Stay strong, guys.
You're so beautiful.
♥
P.S "like" my Facebook page for daily inspirational updates!

I get it.

I get it. I know what if feels like. To feel like you don't even matter to anyone, to feel like nobody wants you around. To feel like nobody wants to talk to you, spend time with or call you their friend. To spend lunch alone listening to music and waiting for it to be over so you can go to class where it looks like you're concentrating, but you just don't have any friends to get distracted by. And it doesn't even matter anyways, because you aren't even paying attention. You're wishing you could be anywhere else but this world, because even the teacher picks on you. Then in gym you put on sweats and a hoodie to hide your scars, even though you're already too hot. You get picked last, again. Then you finally go home and cry or cut and just lay there numb in your room, hoping your parents don't come and make you do stuff. At dinner, you barely eat anything because you feel too fat, even though you aren't. Then finally, you get to go to bed and finally sleep. But not yet, because your thoughts are gonna keep you up for hours, thinking about dying and how no one likes you. How you're pathetic in every way. You finally fall asleep and have a terrible dream. Or a dream about good old memories which makes you want and miss them more more. But you know they're never coming back. I get it.

I just lay in my bed, thinking about everything. Thinking about the people who have walked in and out of my life without saying goodbye. The guys I've liked who have played me, or used me. I think about how dumb I was to get my hopes up too fast. I think about school and how I should try a lot harder. I think about I care about what others think about me. I really shouldn't care because this is me and no one can change that. I think about my family and how close we all used to be, now we're drifting slowly and painfully. I think about later on in life, and how I'm going to turn out. Then I just close my eyes and cry. Cry because of sadness. Because of anger. I'm depressed and it hurts. Especially at night. When I just want life to end.

But then, you get through that phase. After endless nights of crying, hurting, tormenting yourself over something you said or did, you just realise that there is no point. You're a human, you're going to make mistakes. Not everyone is going to accept you. But there'll always be someone who wants to be your friend. You're never alone no matter what you're going through, someone is always there who can understand you. One day, you will realise that you are good enough, you will stop caring about what people think. You finally surround yourself by people who love you and ignore all people who don't like you because, well, that's their problem, not yours!

HEY YOU... yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else, that person probably wants to be someone else too! Or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Someone completely different likes you! Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. They really aren't worth your time. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things, you wouldn't be you. And that you is unique. There is no one who is exactly like you. Never has been, never will be. And why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates you because you are happy with yourself. Then stuff them! Your happiness will not depend on others anymore. Say to them, "I am happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me, me. And that "me" is pretty darn amazing." they will stop harassing you. They will actually get jealous and want to have the same attitude as you. Just live your life the way you want to. Live your life to make yourself happy. Stop caring about people who want to bring you down. They'll grow up one day and focus on themselves.

Be positive, beautiful. Embrace yourself for who you are. Someone out there thinks you're perfect.


Stay strong, okay?
I'm always here for any of you.
You're so beautiful.
♥

Awesome Teenage Blogger Award!

Hey, guys! 

I've just gotten my very first award ever, and I am so excited and happy. When I first saw the comment about me getting an award, I thought it was spam or just a joke, lmao. I am so happy. 

A big, fat, huge, gigantic, enormous thank you to Fatima Hayat from Craft 360 who  gave me this award. You've made my day, and motivated me to come up with a few blog posts as I haven't been blogging recently!
I would like to thank my shadow for always being there for me, my siblings for annoying the crap out of me, my bed for being such a welcoming friend, my computer for introducing me to the world of blogging, my parents for paying for the internet and most importantly my cat Louis and my dog - wait, I don't even have a dog.
Awkward.
But seriously, thank you, Fatima!

                            

*happy dances*

The rules are:

1. Thanks the person who gave you this award and copy the rules to a new post on your own blog. 

2. Answer the 3 introduction questions and the 4 questions asked by the kind person who awarded you.

3. Tag between 1 to 100 other bloggers aged twenty years or younger.

4. Think of 4 more questions to ask your lucky recipients and inform them that they have won an award!

 Introduction Questions (To help us all to get to know each other!): 

Question # 1
 Which 5 words would you use to describe your personality? Is your blogging personality anyway different from your real-life one?
A: Hmmmm: weird, friendly, shy, bubbly and a pervert. (yes, I just called myself a pervert. I tend to think the nasty side of normal things. sigh.) I'm not exactly sure, but I think my blogging personality is the same as my real-life one. I'm not sure though, to be quite honest.

Question # 2 
Where in the world do you live and who with?
A: I live in Algeria, I live with my mum, dad, five brothers, two sisters and two tortoises. And a cat. Or two. Or three. Or non. Idk.

Question # 3
 When did you start blogging and why?
A: I asked mum to make me a blog when I was like 12 (four years ago, nearly five) or something. I actually thought a blog was facebook and when she made me a blog I was like, "whaaaat, i asked for a blog not this!" when she finally understood that for me facebook was a blog, she sadly said no to me making a facebook account so I decided to just start blogging. I started this blog in November 2012 though. 

Extra Questions (the award winner will redesign these each time):

 Question #4

whats your dream place to live after ten years? and why?

A: I don't really have a dream place. Am I supposed to?I wouldn't mind living with Justin Bieber in ten years though, wherever he'll be living then. Don't judge, I'm awesome okay.

Question # 5

Have you ever done anything dishonest/foolish? Did you learn from it?
A: I can't think of anything right now, but I probably have and probably did learn from it. 

Question # 6

whats your favorite subject and worst subject at school? and why?
A: My favourite subject is Maths because I just love it. It's really fun once you get the hang of it. Worst? Probably history, because I'm a lazy git who never learns anything.

Question #7

 If someone asked you to give them a random piece of advice, what would you say? 
A: Don't let a society stereotype define who you are. Live life the way you want and be happy. 

Now to the nominees. I'll like to pass this blogger award onto:

(this is embarrassing because I actually can't think of a teenage blogger because all the blogs I read are my mum's friends' blogs. this is actually quite sad. I can only think of one.... Sigh. )

Nina Marinkovic she is a hilarious, random, awesome blogger who never fails to make me smile. Everyone should go and check her out! 

And if you're another teenage blogger reading this, feel free to do this, okay? I just don't read lots of blogs, sadly. 

 My 4 questions for you all to answer (plus the 3 introduction questions) are:

1. If you had one minute to tell the whole world something, what would you say?
2. What is your all time favourite song and why?
3. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
4. Do you like The Hunger Games? (if you don't, I'm judging you)

P.S if you actually do do this. please drop me a comment, I'd love to read yours! :)

Stay strong, people.

Life is good.

♥

Depressed?

"Look up to the sky. This will work well today because the sky is blue. Can you hear the birds singing? Well this is your planet. Whether you believe in God or not it’s pretty flipping brilliant. 
Every time you see something bad, blink again and see something amazing. So, for example: it’s raining. That water has been around since the beginning of time. Those atoms have shifted and changed formation but has been in existence since forever. They’ve seen so many lives and been digested by so many people. And so have you. You are made up of the atoms from stars. 
You are a marvel of fate or chance or whatever you believe in. Trillions of cells make up your body each containing a recipe for you that is unique to anything the world has ever seen. 
You could feel this makes you insignificant, and it does in the scene of things but actually it make you important. You are part of all this whether you like it or not. You’re destined to exist and if any one person is not here the whole world shifts because we all affect each other.
Remember half of you was the winning sperm and no-one can ever take that way from you, not this illness, not anyone. You are YOU. 
You have a brain and most importantly the most amazing thing created so far. Consciousness. 
You’re beautiful, intelligent and you have everything going for you. The world can be yours if you reach out and grab it.
Now smile, you’re ALIVE. And I believe that the purpose of being alive is to be happy and for those around you to be. So as long as anyone is conscious they can be happy because there will always be something to smile about – you’re able to think that. 
So you look at that sky and you say wow."

Stay strong,
I promise, you're beautiful.
♥

We are humans

No one should feel the need to hide their emotions and feelings. Stop saying, "I'm fine." and then wondering why nobody understands you, supports you, is there for you and helps you through life's obstacles. People aren't psychic, we need to tell them how they feel for them to help us. No, it isn't attention seeking. It's just asking for help. Help we all need. We are humans. We all need help, support, attention, love and affection.

We're all walking around with those glossy eyes. "I'm just tired," we say. But you know what? It's bullshit. Yes, we are tired, but it's not all from lack of sleep. We are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. We're tired of this void, this emptiness that presses down on us even though we're surrounded by dozens of people. So why can't we just say it? Humans are so afraid to look into each other's eyes and say, "I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and fallible." We've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if those feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. Well, I say: screw all of that. Screw forces smiles and polite handshakes, and I'm fine, thank yous. Screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies we spit out to cover up our problems. We are humans. We are meant to feel. To feel everything and to feel it all openly. We are not metal - we are flesh and bone. Our boiled blood courses through or cold, clammy hands. We are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts, because if we do, then what's left to show?

I am here for you.
Stay strong,
You're insanely beautiful.
♥

Dealing with bullying.

"Nobody loves you, you may as well just kill yourself." "You're so fat, how can you even walk?" "You're too skinny, are you anorexic? Do you even eat?" 

Bullying. That dreadful behaviour that is such a common, wide-spread issue happening in schools everyday, all over the world.

Bullying has many forms, it can be verbal (when people insult you), psychological (spreading rumours about you, gossiping about you..etc) and physical (when you get pushed, tripped, punched, hit, beaten up, and in some cases, even sexually assaulted). It happens with both children and teenagers, and usually happens in schools. 

Bullying is an issue that should be taken more seriously. When a child speaks about being bullied to his/her parents (and that is rare), the parents don't class it as a serious issue, and just tell their children to stand up for themselves or to ignore it. Unfortunately, dealing with bullying isn't simple as that. Parents should support their children, investigate into this bullying, talk to the teachers/principal/parents of the bully, try and end this.

How to deal with bullying:

It is hard to deal with being bullied. Most people usually say to just ignore, but honestly, you shouldn't ignore it, you should face it, deal with it and try to stop it. Here's a few steps:

• If you are bullied: don't be afraid to report the bullies to your teachers or the principal. Talk to your parents about it, explain to them what these people do/say and how it effects you. Your parents/teachers can't help unless you tell them about it. It also helps talking to your friends, or anyone else about it. Bottling up your emotions and feelings, and keeping everything to yourself has a bad effect on you. If you can, stand up to these bullies. If you show them that they don't effect you, they will back off. Bullies love seeing a reaction, whether is fear, sadness, hurt... that's what they're looking for. Don't let them see how their words or actions effect you.
• If you know someone who is bullied: whether it's your friend, your neighbour, your class-mate, your cousin... It's always great to stand up for them if you see them being bullied. It might be an easy thing for you, especially if you are confident or able to stand up to those bullies, but it helps tremendously the bullied. Encourage them to talk about it, and report it or try to stand up for themselves. (Basically tell them what I have put above to the people who are bullied).
• If your child is bullied: support them emotionally, be there for them, make them know how much you love them, and that they're great, special, important individuals. It's also important to talk to the teachers and even contact the parents of the bully. If it doesn't stop, don't give up. I know parents who have moved towns to get their kid into a better school because they were bullied in their previous ones. As a parent, your child will expect you to protect them, so it's your duty to stop the bullying and help your child deal with it. Encourage them to speak up and defend themselves. Don't be harsh on them, try to understand what they're going through. Being bullied can have a permanent, negative effect on your child's life. It must be stopped and dealt with in the correct manner.

Being bullied can lead to mental issues such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-harm disorders, and  low-self esteem, lack of confidence, insecurity. It can even lead to suicide. Proof: Amanda Todd.
No matter what a person does or looks like, no body deserves to be bullied. No one.

Bullies are most likely to have a criminal record and end up in prison when older. They are the kind of people who somehow enjoy hurting people and putting them down. Some do it because of a previous, damaging experience, and some do it to hide their lack of confidence, low self-esteem and the weakness. They do it to feel powerful and somehow get respect from others. It is important for teachers/parents to make the bully understand that bullying is wrong and doesn't help them. If they think that the bully has mental issues, he should get treated. I'm not saying don't punish the bully and just be kind on them. It depends on the type of bully and why they do that. Some bullies need help, some need to be punished, and it's up the parent/guardian to determine what to do to the bully and how to stop him bullying others.

People need to realise that no matter whether they're skinny, fat, medium, curvy, white, black, Asian, gay, straight, bisexual, pretty, "ugly"... or whatever, they are humans, they don't deserve to be put down for what they have or what they don't have. We are all humans, we all deserve to feel smart, happy, confident. We all deserve to be loved. Non of us deserve to be bullied. We are all different. Don't change yourself to fit in with society's rules. Be yourself and embrace yourself for who you are, because that's you, that's what makes you beautiful, unique and special. Not everyone might see your good qualities (yes, you DO have some brilliant qualities), but that doesn't mean you don't have any. People will start to notice if you embrace yourself and feel proud of yourself and who you are.

"You are born original, don't die a copy."

Remember, I'm always here for you if you want to talk or need help or advice. Just contact me, okay?

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.
♥

Inspirational stories.

I've been working on a few blog posts that involve bullying, suicide, dealing with people, boosting your confidence and much more. It's taking a while because I want all my posts to be perfect, or close to perfect. So, I've decided to share with you a few inspirational stories about troubled teenagers recovering and growing into great adults!

Danielle's Struggle to Find Acceptance

Danielle grew up in a household where her parents were heavy drug users and alcoholics. Strangers came in and out of the house at all hours of the night. One night, a man came into Danielle's room and raped her. She was 13. She told her parents, who dismissed it, saying that she must have just had a nightmare. Danielle decided to run away from home and become a member of a popular gang in the community.She became very close to these people and admired them. They weren't the best role models for her, but she figured they cared more about her than her own parents. She felt that she'd better do what they wanted, or they might turn their backs on her too. She began stealing, assaulting people, and using drugs and alcohol. Shortly after, she ended up spending five years in a juvenile detention center for her crimes.While there, she started therapy and found a religion that she found comfort in. She learned why she joined the gang and how her life spiraled out of control. By the time her sentence was up, she was a public speaker and a peer mentor to some of the younger detainees. After her release, she attended college and became a child psychologist.

Amanda's Search for Real Love

When Amanda was seven years old, her father left her mother. This devastated her mother, and she began drinking heavily. One night, her mother went to jail for several DUIs and other charges. The court decided she was an unfit mother, and since there was no other family available to take care of Amanda, she went into the foster care system.
At first, it was great, because she finally was able to be a part of a family that really cared about her, or so she thought. A couple weeks after she moved in, her foster parents decided that it wasn't going to work, so Amanda was sent to another home. The second home wasn't as nice as the first one, but they took care of her better than her mother did. However, after three weeks, the agency determined that the foster home was not appropriate for foster care and Amanda went somewhere else. At her third foster home, she once again found a loving family. She stayed for four months and she finally thought she had found her home - that is until the family decided not to participate in foster care any longer.
By the sixth home, Amanda convinced herself that no one wanted her in this world. To alleviate those feelings, she started to dress in a way that would gain her a lot of attention and she would accept whatever affection she could get. This meant that she was highly promiscuous and put herself at risk for STDs and pregnancy. Actually, she said that she didn't care if she got pregnant because she wouldn't mind having a little baby to hold, cuddle, and love.
About a year later, Amanda did become pregnant, and the father didn't want anything to do with the baby. She was 15 and expecting a child. Since her foster parents weren't equipped to care for a baby, she was once again sent to another foster home. Not only did she bounce from home to home, her baby ended up having the same fate - that is until she finally found the one family that accepted her for who she was.
Because of this family's commitment, care, and love for Amanda, she was able to finish high school and attend college. It wasn't easy. She had to work two jobs, pay for childcare, and do her coursework, while taking care of her child. All the hard work paid off. She ended up graduating with a business degree and is the childcare director of a day care center.

Jessica's Rebellion Against Authority

Jessica came from a loving, affluent home. The only problem was that Jessica never felt good enough. Her parents wanted her to be the best at everything, and they wanted her to consider them her best friends. When Jessica reached adolescence, she decided that she could not take her parent's demands any longer and did everything she could to go against her parents' wishes, which included joining the wrong crowd, drinking, using drugs, and committing crimes. Her parents had no idea what had gotten into her and feared for her future. Jessica didn't care that she was headed down a bleak path. Her parents signed her up for a wilderness camp.
The wilderness camp involved vigorous activities and many scare straight tactics. Jessica was reminded everyday that if she didn't shape up, she would end up suffering consequences much worse in jail or prison. Once the camp was over, Jessica went home as a completely different and new individual. Her parents understand where they went wrong through family counseling, and they were as happy to have their daughter back as Jessica was to be back.

Stay strong, 

You're so beautiful.

♥

Trichotillomania (Hair-pulling disorder)

What is Trichotillomania?

Trichotillomania (trik-o-til-o-MAY-ne-uh) is an irresistible urge to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows or other areas of your body. Hair pulling from the scalp often leaves patchy bald spots, which people with trichotillomania may go to great lengths to disguise.
For some people, trichotillomania may be mild and generally manageable. For others, the urge to pull hair is overwhelming and can be accompanied by considerable distress. Some treatment options have helped many people reduce their hair pulling or stop entirely.
People with trichotillomania pull hair out at the root from places like the scalp, eyebrows, eyelashes, or pubic area. Some people pull large handfuls of hair, which can leave bald patches on the scalp or eyebrows. Other people pull out their hair one strand at a time. Some inspect the strand after pulling it out or play with the hair after it's been pulled. About half of people with the condition put the hair in their mouths after pulling it. Some people are very aware of their pulling; others seem to do it without really noticing what they're doing.

It might be hard to understand why some people would pull their own hair or eyelashes out — or why they wouldn't just stop. But trichotillomania isn't just an ordinary habit that a person can easily stop.

Trichotillomania is a type of compulsive behavior. This means that people with the condition feel an overwhelming urge to pull their hair. They also may have other compulsive habits, such as nail biting or skin picking. Some also have problems like depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Compulsive behaviors like trichotillomania involve brain chemistry and may be genetic (meaning they can sometimes run in families).

People with trichotillomania may feel embarrassment, frustration, shame, or depression about the condition. They may worry about what others will think or say. They may feel nagged by people who don't understand that they're not doing this on purpose. They usually try to hide the behavior from others — even their families. This can make it difficult to get help.

Having trichotillomania can affect how people feel about themselves. Some are self-conscious about how hair pulling affects their appearance. Because of this, they might feel less confident about making friends or dating. Others might feel powerless to control the urge to pull or blame themselves for not being able to stop. Feelings like these can cause a person's self-image to suffer.
The causes of this disorder are unkown to medical professors today.

Treatment:

It is strongly advised to speak to a therapist about this issue. It's something very hard to stop, especially for people who do it without realising. After doing some research, and putting lots of different technique together, I've came up with this:
1. Write a diary/journal/notes on what you usually are doing/thinking when you pull your hair out. It is important to realise what makes you feel the urge to pull your own hair out.
2. Try to avoid these things, if possible. If you can't possibly avoid it (doing homework, watching tv...etc.) then while doing it, always keep yours hands occupied. Whether it's holding something, knitting, sewing, drawing. And don't put them down, tell yourself you'll pull your hair once you've finished, but then if you've finished whatever you were doing and you still feel these urges, then start something else, until these urges go away.
3. It can get very hard at times, but this behaviour isn't good for you, mentally or physically. It has to stop. And as time passes by, it gets easier and these urges will disappear or significantly reduce.
4. Talk to someone about it, family, friends, a support group. You need that emotional support. Talking about it to somebody will make you feel better. If you honestly don't know who to speak to, then please contact me.
5. If you do it as a form of self-harm, to cause yourself pain, then you can "harmlessly" hurt yourself. Try holding ice-cubes, or putting them against where you usually pull your hair out.
6. To relieve stress, instead of pulling out your hair:

• Talk to somebody about how you feel. 
• Write/type.. Rant! Write whatever you feel like writing, whether it's about why you're stressed, how you're feeling, writing always helps! No one has to see it, but if you want to show somebody, then go ahead!
• Go for a walk. Go clear your head. A walk and a good dose of fresh air greatly helps.
• Take a hot/cold shower. Depends on who you are, but taking a hot or cold shower can really help soothe and calm you. Taking a hot, relaxing bath helps too.
• Plug your earphones in, turn the volume up, and yell along to whatever you're listening to. You'll be surprised how much it helps!
• Scream into your pillow.
• Phyiscally abuse your pillow if you feel the need to do so!
• Cry. Crying isn't something to be ashamed off. It doesn't mean your weak. Keeping your emotions bottled up doesn't help at all. Cry it all out, you might get a little headache afterwards, but these tears wash away all the stress.

But please, talk to someone a doctor or therapist. It isn't something embarrassing. They deal with this kind of stuff all the time. They will be happy to help you. Don't be afraid, you'll be grateful that you did it. I promise.

Stay strong,

You're beautiful.

♥

Cyberbullying!

Almost all teenagers today use the Internet. It's a huge part of their lives. Sadly, it isn't a perfect place to be. Things such as cyber bullying occur and it can get to the point where the victim ends their life. Perfect example? Amanda Todd.


"Cyberbullying" is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyberstalking is NEVER called cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying can sometimes be worse than bullying at school, because these comments or posts are always there for everyone to see. These words constantly haunt the victim, and causes them a lot of emotional trauma. They feel sad, humiliated, embarrassed, angry, scared and hurt. People say that words don't hurt, but that's untrue. All it takes is one hurtful word to slip out that brings someone's self-esteem crashing down. Yet, it takes hundreds, if not thousands of compliments to bring their self-esteem back up. And no one deserves to suffer from having such low-esteem to the point that they feel like they don't belong, that they aren't loved nor wanted, they might even get suicidal thoughts. Then what if they act upon these thoughts successfully and commit suicide? How would you be able to live with yourself? It's easier to keep these comments to yourself no matter what you think of that person. No matter how they dress, how they look, what they believe in, whether they're straight, bisexual, gay, over weight, have bad grades, are single, no longer virgins, going out with your ex... You have no right to insult them or put them down. It's their life, their decisions. You might not think it's right, hell, they might even not think it's right either, so they probably torment themselves about these decisions enough for you to do it too! Just let them be.

It's hard to ignore these hurtful comments. I've been called a whore, ugly, a terrorist, stupid, fat, constantly bullied and picked on because of my decisions. At first, I stayed strong and these words didn't effect me, yet, they kept coming and coming and coming and at some point they started hurting me. I'd read someone's comment, and I feel like someone just punched me straight in the face or a truck hit me. But then I pulled myself together and became determined to stay strong and defend myself so I would kindly respond to their messages by saying something clever but not insulting (kill 'em with kindness! Don't bully them in return.) The things I was sent came from anonymous people, so I could even block them! I then decided to just delete that account and move on. It was an ask.fm account. Then I just had to work on bringing my self-esteem back up which wasn't easy! But, I'm getting there.

If you're cyberbullied, I highly suggest you speak to someone about it, not necessarily reporting it (you can if it's threats) but just let someone know what's going on because you need support through this. Preferably, speak to your friend/partner about it, as parents tend to focus on the bad language more than how the comments effect you. But, if you feel like you can talk to your parents about it, then go ahead. It's good for them to be aware of what's going on in your life. Just try and explain how these comments are effecting you if they don't seem understanding at first. If you can't talk to them, or can't talk to a friend or whoever for whatever reason, then contact me! I'm here for you.

You should also delete these comments if possible, if not, just report them online (you can usually do that on sites like twitter, facebook, tumblr... ect) also if they're your "friend" on facebook or wherever, block and delete them. People who bring you down don't deserve to be in your life, and you certainly don't need such horrid people in yours either! If these comments become threatening, depending on where you live, you should be able to report it to the police. Don't be afraid, do it! These people will stop.

Try not to let these comments effect you, most people cyberbully to feel like they've got power, or to seem 'cool', or they're just jealous of you and they want to bring you down! Don't let them achieve what they want. Come out of this stronger and smile. Show them that their comments don't and never will effect you negatively. Focus on the positive side of this: it will all make you a stronger person. :)

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.
♥