It Isn't Your Fault.

I got a comment from somebody Anonymous yesterday, and as I started to reply, I decided to write up a post instead. Because a little comment wasn't enough. And because so many people struggle with similar issues like this one.

Before I start, can I just say that no matter who you are, where you come from, how old you are, what you've done, or if you're a boy or a girl. Your welcome here.
I've noticed that people assume these issues are something girls go through. Boys have feelings too. It's okay to be upset. To love. To cry. To struggle with something. All you boys out there are more than welcome here.

We all have bad days. We all struggle with something every now and again. Whether it's parents divorcing, friends turning on you, bad accidents... You get the idea. It isn't your fault. No matter how you act, how angry or happy you make your parents, if they aren't happy together, they will divorce. But it has nothing to do with you. You can't blame yourself. They just weren't happy together anymore.

It's the same thing with loosing your friends. If you know you made a mistake and you can identify it, then apologise to them, and try to gain their trust again. But if you guys just don't get along anymore, don't blame yourself. People change, they mature and grow. They develop different ideas about things. They start wanting different things from life. They start having different goals. Then you maybe won't have anything in common anymore and just don't see a future for your friendship. Some friendships survive a lot, but others don't. If a friendship ends like this, don't blame yourself and feel guilty. Don't let it bring you or your confidence down. There are billions of people on this planet. Are you trying to tell me that you won't find one good, loyal friend out of billions? Go out, smile, be friendly. Meet new people. Just remember to be yourself. You will meet idiots. But you will meet good people too. Meeting idiots means you learn how to deal with them and cut them out of your life. Meeting good people means, hopefully, a start of a healthy friendship. Take a risk!

If you have fake friends who constantly put you down, cut the friendship. In my opinion, this is a form of bullying. Friends aren't meant to make you feel bad about yourself. It's called a toxic friendship. End it! You deserve good friends. People who love you for who you are. People you can trust. People you can talk to about anything. People you can laugh with. People who you're comfortable being yourself around. People who won't judge you. People who have your back no matter what. That's what friendship is about. And you deserve a proper friendship. Don't try arguing with me about that. No matter who you are, no matter what you have done, you deserve another chance. You deserve your own shot at happiness. You deserve good friends. It's okay to be happy and let life look up for you. No one deserves to be unhappy.

Loosing someone you love, seeing someone you love get hurt, witnessing a car accident, or anything like that, please know that it isn't your fault. Don't go around blaming yourself.
"If only I did this.." "If only I was a few minutes early, this wouldn't have happened..."
STOP THOSE THOUGHTS.
I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. No matter how shitty life can get. And how horrible things happen everyday. I honestly believe that there is good in every horrible thing that happened. Anyone can teach themselves to look at the positive things in life. Looking at the negative, you will be unhappy. And to be happy again, you have to change. It's okay to be sad and to cry. But it's not okay to be sad and to cry all the time. Take your time to mourn, to be sad, to cry, to let your feelings out. Then wipe away those tears, tell yourself that you're strong enough to get through this, put a smile on your face and look at the positive thing from your situation. If you can't, focus on life's positive sides.

I'll leave you guys with a beautiful quote:
"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they find the best in everything they have."
Think about it.

Stay strong.
♥

I get it.

I get it. I know what if feels like. To feel like you don't even matter to anyone, to feel like nobody wants you around. To feel like nobody wants to talk to you, spend time with or call you their friend. To spend lunch alone listening to music and waiting for it to be over so you can go to class where it looks like you're concentrating, but you just don't have any friends to get distracted by. And it doesn't even matter anyways, because you aren't even paying attention. You're wishing you could be anywhere else but this world, because even the teacher picks on you. Then in gym you put on sweats and a hoodie to hide your scars, even though you're already too hot. You get picked last, again. Then you finally go home and cry or cut and just lay there numb in your room, hoping your parents don't come and make you do stuff. At dinner, you barely eat anything because you feel too fat, even though you aren't. Then finally, you get to go to bed and finally sleep. But not yet, because your thoughts are gonna keep you up for hours, thinking about dying and how no one likes you. How you're pathetic in every way. You finally fall asleep and have a terrible dream. Or a dream about good old memories which makes you want and miss them more more. But you know they're never coming back. I get it.

I just lay in my bed, thinking about everything. Thinking about the people who have walked in and out of my life without saying goodbye. The guys I've liked who have played me, or used me. I think about how dumb I was to get my hopes up too fast. I think about school and how I should try a lot harder. I think about I care about what others think about me. I really shouldn't care because this is me and no one can change that. I think about my family and how close we all used to be, now we're drifting slowly and painfully. I think about later on in life, and how I'm going to turn out. Then I just close my eyes and cry. Cry because of sadness. Because of anger. I'm depressed and it hurts. Especially at night. When I just want life to end.

But then, you get through that phase. After endless nights of crying, hurting, tormenting yourself over something you said or did, you just realise that there is no point. You're a human, you're going to make mistakes. Not everyone is going to accept you. But there'll always be someone who wants to be your friend. You're never alone no matter what you're going through, someone is always there who can understand you. One day, you will realise that you are good enough, you will stop caring about what people think. You finally surround yourself by people who love you and ignore all people who don't like you because, well, that's their problem, not yours!

HEY YOU... yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else, that person probably wants to be someone else too! Or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Someone completely different likes you! Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. They really aren't worth your time. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things, you wouldn't be you. And that you is unique. There is no one who is exactly like you. Never has been, never will be. And why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates you because you are happy with yourself. Then stuff them! Your happiness will not depend on others anymore. Say to them, "I am happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me, me. And that "me" is pretty darn amazing." they will stop harassing you. They will actually get jealous and want to have the same attitude as you. Just live your life the way you want to. Live your life to make yourself happy. Stop caring about people who want to bring you down. They'll grow up one day and focus on themselves.

Be positive, beautiful. Embrace yourself for who you are. Someone out there thinks you're perfect.


Stay strong, okay?
I'm always here for any of you.
You're so beautiful.
♥

How can I stay strong?

Everyone tells others to stay strong when they are going through a hard time. It seems like the typical thing to say now, especially between teenagers, but when I go through a hard time and people tell me to stay strong, I would sometimes think, "How can I stay strong, huh? It's easier said than done." Yes, it is.

Well, after years of pain, hardships, nightmares, tears and more pain (lol, i sound like a freaking 99 year old or something) I have reached the grand age of 16, when I'm wise enough to put together a few tips on how to stay strong.

1. Cry: this sounds a little ironic because staying strong shouldn't mean crying and being "weak"... Crying usually says that we have been strong for too long. We are humans, the first step into becoming strong is just breaking down and crying it all out. Whether it's a few minutes or a few hours, just sit down, play a good emotional song, and just weep, sob, wail, scream... do the whole thing. Let all that anger, pain and frustration out. 
2. Why should I stay strong? You can't stay strong through all of those hard times without knowing why you're staying strong. I can't tell you what the reasons are that you want to stay strong, because we are all different and we all have different lives, different stories and different reasons! But on a more general note: we all have a future, we are all going to graduate, move out of our parents' house, and then, all of those problems you had at school and home will be so stupid and so distant. You will have a new chance to have a different life. Everyday is a new chance in my opinion, but moving out/graduating is a whole different thing. It's where you're out there meeting new people, living with different ones, seeing different ones everyday. You won't be stuck in school with your bullies forever, you won't be imprisoned with your abusive brother forever, you won't be scared by that creepy neighbour forever. Everything ends. And you're staying strong, waiting for your problems to end where you can have a new start. Your problems will be solved, your issues will end. You don't even have to wait until you can move away from your problems, you can deal with them, face them and try to terminate them for good. 
3. Accept what you're going through: whether you deserve it or not, whether your brought it on yourself or not, it is important to accept who you are, what is happening, what you are going through. This is life, don't expect it to be perfect. It can't be. And it would probably be boring anyway if it was. Just smile, and accept that you're going through problems. I've noticed that once I accept what I'm going through, it suddenly changes for the better.
4. Physical strength: If you get insulted or hear things that bring you down, then make your muscles tense, that makes you feel strong physically and help you feel strong mentally.
5. Accept your emotions: acknowledge your emotions and accept them. This will help you change your emotions into happier ones that help you to stay strong. 
6. Do the opposite of what your emotions tell you to think: this makes you stronger emotionally.
7. Laugh: whether you want to look something funny up, or just lie down and laugh for no reason. When I went to school, in 10th grade, our arabic teacher once cleared all the desks, put a little mat on the floor, told all the students to lay down our heads together to form a sort of circle, turned the lights off, then he'd crack a stupid joke and we'd all start laughing, and trust me, once one started, everyone joined in. We laughed for AGES. And let me tell you, we felt happy, relaxed and strong for like weeks afterwards. You should really try it out with your friends.

And just smile. Make the most of every day you have. Be grateful for what you have, some people would do anything to get an extra day where they're healthy, surrounded by their family and actually have a home. There is always somebody going through MUCH worse than you are, so just take a moment and feel happy, proud for who you are and grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have.

Remember, I'm always here for you. 

Stay strong,

You're beautiful.

♥