I get it.

I get it. I know what if feels like. To feel like you don't even matter to anyone, to feel like nobody wants you around. To feel like nobody wants to talk to you, spend time with or call you their friend. To spend lunch alone listening to music and waiting for it to be over so you can go to class where it looks like you're concentrating, but you just don't have any friends to get distracted by. And it doesn't even matter anyways, because you aren't even paying attention. You're wishing you could be anywhere else but this world, because even the teacher picks on you. Then in gym you put on sweats and a hoodie to hide your scars, even though you're already too hot. You get picked last, again. Then you finally go home and cry or cut and just lay there numb in your room, hoping your parents don't come and make you do stuff. At dinner, you barely eat anything because you feel too fat, even though you aren't. Then finally, you get to go to bed and finally sleep. But not yet, because your thoughts are gonna keep you up for hours, thinking about dying and how no one likes you. How you're pathetic in every way. You finally fall asleep and have a terrible dream. Or a dream about good old memories which makes you want and miss them more more. But you know they're never coming back. I get it.

I just lay in my bed, thinking about everything. Thinking about the people who have walked in and out of my life without saying goodbye. The guys I've liked who have played me, or used me. I think about how dumb I was to get my hopes up too fast. I think about school and how I should try a lot harder. I think about I care about what others think about me. I really shouldn't care because this is me and no one can change that. I think about my family and how close we all used to be, now we're drifting slowly and painfully. I think about later on in life, and how I'm going to turn out. Then I just close my eyes and cry. Cry because of sadness. Because of anger. I'm depressed and it hurts. Especially at night. When I just want life to end.

But then, you get through that phase. After endless nights of crying, hurting, tormenting yourself over something you said or did, you just realise that there is no point. You're a human, you're going to make mistakes. Not everyone is going to accept you. But there'll always be someone who wants to be your friend. You're never alone no matter what you're going through, someone is always there who can understand you. One day, you will realise that you are good enough, you will stop caring about what people think. You finally surround yourself by people who love you and ignore all people who don't like you because, well, that's their problem, not yours!

HEY YOU... yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else, that person probably wants to be someone else too! Or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Someone completely different likes you! Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. They really aren't worth your time. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things, you wouldn't be you. And that you is unique. There is no one who is exactly like you. Never has been, never will be. And why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates you because you are happy with yourself. Then stuff them! Your happiness will not depend on others anymore. Say to them, "I am happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me, me. And that "me" is pretty darn amazing." they will stop harassing you. They will actually get jealous and want to have the same attitude as you. Just live your life the way you want to. Live your life to make yourself happy. Stop caring about people who want to bring you down. They'll grow up one day and focus on themselves.

Be positive, beautiful. Embrace yourself for who you are. Someone out there thinks you're perfect.


Stay strong, okay?
I'm always here for any of you.
You're so beautiful.
♥

Depressed?

"Look up to the sky. This will work well today because the sky is blue. Can you hear the birds singing? Well this is your planet. Whether you believe in God or not it’s pretty flipping brilliant. 
Every time you see something bad, blink again and see something amazing. So, for example: it’s raining. That water has been around since the beginning of time. Those atoms have shifted and changed formation but has been in existence since forever. They’ve seen so many lives and been digested by so many people. And so have you. You are made up of the atoms from stars. 
You are a marvel of fate or chance or whatever you believe in. Trillions of cells make up your body each containing a recipe for you that is unique to anything the world has ever seen. 
You could feel this makes you insignificant, and it does in the scene of things but actually it make you important. You are part of all this whether you like it or not. You’re destined to exist and if any one person is not here the whole world shifts because we all affect each other.
Remember half of you was the winning sperm and no-one can ever take that way from you, not this illness, not anyone. You are YOU. 
You have a brain and most importantly the most amazing thing created so far. Consciousness. 
You’re beautiful, intelligent and you have everything going for you. The world can be yours if you reach out and grab it.
Now smile, you’re ALIVE. And I believe that the purpose of being alive is to be happy and for those around you to be. So as long as anyone is conscious they can be happy because there will always be something to smile about – you’re able to think that. 
So you look at that sky and you say wow."

Stay strong,
I promise, you're beautiful.
♥

We are humans

No one should feel the need to hide their emotions and feelings. Stop saying, "I'm fine." and then wondering why nobody understands you, supports you, is there for you and helps you through life's obstacles. People aren't psychic, we need to tell them how they feel for them to help us. No, it isn't attention seeking. It's just asking for help. Help we all need. We are humans. We all need help, support, attention, love and affection.

We're all walking around with those glossy eyes. "I'm just tired," we say. But you know what? It's bullshit. Yes, we are tired, but it's not all from lack of sleep. We are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. We're tired of this void, this emptiness that presses down on us even though we're surrounded by dozens of people. So why can't we just say it? Humans are so afraid to look into each other's eyes and say, "I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and fallible." We've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if those feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. Well, I say: screw all of that. Screw forces smiles and polite handshakes, and I'm fine, thank yous. Screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies we spit out to cover up our problems. We are humans. We are meant to feel. To feel everything and to feel it all openly. We are not metal - we are flesh and bone. Our boiled blood courses through or cold, clammy hands. We are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts, because if we do, then what's left to show?

I am here for you.
Stay strong,
You're insanely beautiful.
♥

25 reasons why you shouldn't end your life.

Suicide. That constant act on your mind, debating whether to do it, planning on when to do it, or already writing your suicide note? Thinking how much your life sucks? How you don't want to cry yourself to sleep every night anymore? How you don't want to be bullied everyday? How you're sick of hearing your parents fight? How you're afraid of that abuser coming back and hurting you? How you're tired of feeling lonely? How you wish you had real friends? How you wish you had better grades? How you wish you were pretty, thin and good enough? Please just stop. Or at least, reevaluate your thoughts after reading all these reasons to not end your life: 

1. It probably isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Over-thinking things make them seem a billion times worse. Try talking them out with someone and see how simple or stupid your problems may be.
2. Think about those poor, starving children or those cancer patients fighting for their lives, or those people who lost everything in a natural disaster yet refuse to break down and still fight for a good life.
3. Appreciate what you have instead of glooming over what you don't have. Your life isn't perfect. My life isn't perfect. Nobody's life is perfect. It's not only you.
4. You are certainly not alone. There are millions of people who struggle with the same thoughts as you on a daily basis and fight those thoughts away. If they can do it, then so can you.
5. You are good enough. You are pretty enough. You are clever enough. You are talented enough. You are strong enough. You can make your dreams come true. You can have a better life. You can not cry yourself to sleep every night. You can wake up feeling happy. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that every single day. You'll believe it eventually, I promise.
6. Those haters and bullies want to see you down. Don't let them feel happy with you breaking down. Stay strong. 
7. Stay strong just for that special one special in your life that you wake up everyday to see.
8. Everyday is a new day. Being depressed over the past won't change anything. Forget the past. Live for today, and the future will be so much better.
9. Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 
10. Don't hurt all of your loved ones. You killing yourself will have unimaginable effects on them forever. They don't deserve to have their lives ruined because you decided to end your life. They will blame themselves no matter what your suicide note says. They will live forever miserable, angry, hurt and all asking that one question: why? 
11. Ice-cream tastes good.
12. Whatever you're going through will not last forever. Nothing ever does. Stay strong and wait for things to get better. 
13. Imagine missing out on everything.... Growing up, meeting new people, having new chances, making new memories with your loved ones.
14. What about the person who finds you dead? Think about how they'd feel. Would you really want to put them through such horror?
15. You were brought into this world for a reason. So LIVE!
16. Never seeing a new day, rain, sunshine, snow, children laughing, a rainbow again.
17. Never being able to grow up more and make those haters realise that they were wrong all along. Work hard and come out more successful, happier and healthier than them. 
18. Your life has a value whether you see it or not. Please don't end it.
19. Missing out on all your favourite artists releasing new work.
20. Missing out on those first dates... Those butterflies, taking a billion breath-mints.... all for that one special person.
21. There is always somebody out there who wants you to live and can't imagine life without you.
22. All that yummy food you will never be able to eat. 
23. Seeing the iPhone 6! 
24. You'll never watch the next episode of your favourite show, and you'll never see your favourite movie again.
25. Once you kill yourself, you're gone. Finished. Bye bye. No one can bring you back. You'll never be able to try out the things you wanted, see places you wanted to see, meet new people, chase after your dreams, make new memories with the people you love. 

Please think about it properly. Do you really want to end everything? We all want to end all that pain and the hurt. But life also has those good little things in them. If you think about it properly, you'll be able to see all of those amazing little details about your life that you never noticed before. Life is so damn good no matter how much pain you're going through at this moment. Slap some sense into yourself and stop moping around. There are people who would do anything to have your life. Some people have absolutely nothing in their lives, yet they still find a reason to smile and a reason to fight harder for a better life. You have family, you have friends, you have a home, you have clothes to wear, you have food to eat, appreciate that for a change. Take a moment out of your day to reflect on your happy memories and all of the blessings that you have been blessed with and then hopefully, you will feel different about ending your own beautiful life.

No matter how many mistakes you have made, appologise, buy the person you hurt a gift. If they forgive you, then great! If they don't, then that is there problem. You have done what you can and that's what matters. We all make mistakes, don't constantly punish yourself for being human.

Stay strong,
You're so beautiful.
I promise.
♥

How can I stay strong?

Everyone tells others to stay strong when they are going through a hard time. It seems like the typical thing to say now, especially between teenagers, but when I go through a hard time and people tell me to stay strong, I would sometimes think, "How can I stay strong, huh? It's easier said than done." Yes, it is.

Well, after years of pain, hardships, nightmares, tears and more pain (lol, i sound like a freaking 99 year old or something) I have reached the grand age of 16, when I'm wise enough to put together a few tips on how to stay strong.

1. Cry: this sounds a little ironic because staying strong shouldn't mean crying and being "weak"... Crying usually says that we have been strong for too long. We are humans, the first step into becoming strong is just breaking down and crying it all out. Whether it's a few minutes or a few hours, just sit down, play a good emotional song, and just weep, sob, wail, scream... do the whole thing. Let all that anger, pain and frustration out. 
2. Why should I stay strong? You can't stay strong through all of those hard times without knowing why you're staying strong. I can't tell you what the reasons are that you want to stay strong, because we are all different and we all have different lives, different stories and different reasons! But on a more general note: we all have a future, we are all going to graduate, move out of our parents' house, and then, all of those problems you had at school and home will be so stupid and so distant. You will have a new chance to have a different life. Everyday is a new chance in my opinion, but moving out/graduating is a whole different thing. It's where you're out there meeting new people, living with different ones, seeing different ones everyday. You won't be stuck in school with your bullies forever, you won't be imprisoned with your abusive brother forever, you won't be scared by that creepy neighbour forever. Everything ends. And you're staying strong, waiting for your problems to end where you can have a new start. Your problems will be solved, your issues will end. You don't even have to wait until you can move away from your problems, you can deal with them, face them and try to terminate them for good. 
3. Accept what you're going through: whether you deserve it or not, whether your brought it on yourself or not, it is important to accept who you are, what is happening, what you are going through. This is life, don't expect it to be perfect. It can't be. And it would probably be boring anyway if it was. Just smile, and accept that you're going through problems. I've noticed that once I accept what I'm going through, it suddenly changes for the better.
4. Physical strength: If you get insulted or hear things that bring you down, then make your muscles tense, that makes you feel strong physically and help you feel strong mentally.
5. Accept your emotions: acknowledge your emotions and accept them. This will help you change your emotions into happier ones that help you to stay strong. 
6. Do the opposite of what your emotions tell you to think: this makes you stronger emotionally.
7. Laugh: whether you want to look something funny up, or just lie down and laugh for no reason. When I went to school, in 10th grade, our arabic teacher once cleared all the desks, put a little mat on the floor, told all the students to lay down our heads together to form a sort of circle, turned the lights off, then he'd crack a stupid joke and we'd all start laughing, and trust me, once one started, everyone joined in. We laughed for AGES. And let me tell you, we felt happy, relaxed and strong for like weeks afterwards. You should really try it out with your friends.

And just smile. Make the most of every day you have. Be grateful for what you have, some people would do anything to get an extra day where they're healthy, surrounded by their family and actually have a home. There is always somebody going through MUCH worse than you are, so just take a moment and feel happy, proud for who you are and grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have.

Remember, I'm always here for you. 

Stay strong,

You're beautiful.

♥