Trichotillomania (Hair-pulling disorder)

What is Trichotillomania?

Trichotillomania (trik-o-til-o-MAY-ne-uh) is an irresistible urge to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows or other areas of your body. Hair pulling from the scalp often leaves patchy bald spots, which people with trichotillomania may go to great lengths to disguise.
For some people, trichotillomania may be mild and generally manageable. For others, the urge to pull hair is overwhelming and can be accompanied by considerable distress. Some treatment options have helped many people reduce their hair pulling or stop entirely.
People with trichotillomania pull hair out at the root from places like the scalp, eyebrows, eyelashes, or pubic area. Some people pull large handfuls of hair, which can leave bald patches on the scalp or eyebrows. Other people pull out their hair one strand at a time. Some inspect the strand after pulling it out or play with the hair after it's been pulled. About half of people with the condition put the hair in their mouths after pulling it. Some people are very aware of their pulling; others seem to do it without really noticing what they're doing.

It might be hard to understand why some people would pull their own hair or eyelashes out — or why they wouldn't just stop. But trichotillomania isn't just an ordinary habit that a person can easily stop.

Trichotillomania is a type of compulsive behavior. This means that people with the condition feel an overwhelming urge to pull their hair. They also may have other compulsive habits, such as nail biting or skin picking. Some also have problems like depression, anxiety, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Compulsive behaviors like trichotillomania involve brain chemistry and may be genetic (meaning they can sometimes run in families).

People with trichotillomania may feel embarrassment, frustration, shame, or depression about the condition. They may worry about what others will think or say. They may feel nagged by people who don't understand that they're not doing this on purpose. They usually try to hide the behavior from others — even their families. This can make it difficult to get help.

Having trichotillomania can affect how people feel about themselves. Some are self-conscious about how hair pulling affects their appearance. Because of this, they might feel less confident about making friends or dating. Others might feel powerless to control the urge to pull or blame themselves for not being able to stop. Feelings like these can cause a person's self-image to suffer.
The causes of this disorder are unkown to medical professors today.

Treatment:

It is strongly advised to speak to a therapist about this issue. It's something very hard to stop, especially for people who do it without realising. After doing some research, and putting lots of different technique together, I've came up with this:
1. Write a diary/journal/notes on what you usually are doing/thinking when you pull your hair out. It is important to realise what makes you feel the urge to pull your own hair out.
2. Try to avoid these things, if possible. If you can't possibly avoid it (doing homework, watching tv...etc.) then while doing it, always keep yours hands occupied. Whether it's holding something, knitting, sewing, drawing. And don't put them down, tell yourself you'll pull your hair once you've finished, but then if you've finished whatever you were doing and you still feel these urges, then start something else, until these urges go away.
3. It can get very hard at times, but this behaviour isn't good for you, mentally or physically. It has to stop. And as time passes by, it gets easier and these urges will disappear or significantly reduce.
4. Talk to someone about it, family, friends, a support group. You need that emotional support. Talking about it to somebody will make you feel better. If you honestly don't know who to speak to, then please contact me.
5. If you do it as a form of self-harm, to cause yourself pain, then you can "harmlessly" hurt yourself. Try holding ice-cubes, or putting them against where you usually pull your hair out.
6. To relieve stress, instead of pulling out your hair:

• Talk to somebody about how you feel. 
• Write/type.. Rant! Write whatever you feel like writing, whether it's about why you're stressed, how you're feeling, writing always helps! No one has to see it, but if you want to show somebody, then go ahead!
• Go for a walk. Go clear your head. A walk and a good dose of fresh air greatly helps.
• Take a hot/cold shower. Depends on who you are, but taking a hot or cold shower can really help soothe and calm you. Taking a hot, relaxing bath helps too.
• Plug your earphones in, turn the volume up, and yell along to whatever you're listening to. You'll be surprised how much it helps!
• Scream into your pillow.
• Phyiscally abuse your pillow if you feel the need to do so!
• Cry. Crying isn't something to be ashamed off. It doesn't mean your weak. Keeping your emotions bottled up doesn't help at all. Cry it all out, you might get a little headache afterwards, but these tears wash away all the stress.

But please, talk to someone a doctor or therapist. It isn't something embarrassing. They deal with this kind of stuff all the time. They will be happy to help you. Don't be afraid, you'll be grateful that you did it. I promise.

Stay strong,

You're beautiful.

♥

Inspirational playlist.

Hi there, gorgeous!

I know I haven't updated in a while, and it's because I haven't really had much time to create a decent blog post. I've been feeling quite depressed lately, so anything I write with the intention of being inspiring turns out to be quite depressing. So, instead of writing, I'm going to put down a few songs that have really helped me get through tough times.

First song, is by the beautiful Demi Lovato, who is an inspiration herself to me. She's been through it all, self-harm, eating disorders, bullies, bipolar disorder. She went to rehab for a while, and came out unbroken, as she likes to say. She's an inspiration because she's never afraid to talk about her previous issues. She's always about helping teenagers and sending out a positive message. She started the foundation "Love Is Louder Than The Pressure To Be Perfect." and her latest album, Unbroken, which is the first album she has released after coming out of rehab, is really inspiring and very different to her usually rock albums, this one has more of an RnB touch to it. The first single of this album is called "Skyscraper". She recorded half of this song before going into rehab, and the second half after coming out of rehab. So, it starts out with her crying, and then her coming out of everything stronger and complete inspiration. This is one of my favourite songs. You really should check it out. "Go on and try to tear me down, I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper."

The second song I'm going to greatly recommend is Perfect by P!nk (that's the clean version, the original version is called F*kin' Perfect and even the video isn't really suitable for younger audiences so I'm going to be a good girl and share the clean video). It's basically about feeling worthless, less than perfect, feeling alone, depressed, bullied, bad grades. The video follows the life of a girl who's always the underestimated, insecure, judged, misunderstood.. And how in the end, she turns out to be the happiest out of all the people that put her down in her life. So, anyway, check it out! "Made a wrong turn, once or twice, dug my way out, blood and fire, bad decisions, that's alright, welcome to my silly life. Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood, miss, no way it's all good, it didn't slow me down. Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated, look I'm still around."

The third song, I'm sure y'all know it, is called Firework by Katy Perry. I'm not gonna say anything about it, because I think everyone knows the song! It's also important to watch the video while listening, as it adds a lot to the inspiration bit. "Maybe the reason why all the doors are closed, so you can open one that leads you to the perfect road."

The fourth song is by Selena Gomez & The Scene, it's called Who Says. I love this song because it sends out such a positive message and it can honestly make me feel a lot better about myself. "Who says you're not perfect? Who's says you're not worth it? Who says you're the only one that's heard it? Trust me, that's the price of beauty. Who says you're not pretty? Who says you're not beautiful?"

The fifth song is by Jessie J, she has a song, dedicated to her bullies called Who's Laughing Now which is also a great song, but it's not the song I'm talking about. I'm not really a fan of hers, but Who You Are is an honestly beautiful, beautiful song. It's really, really inspiring. You really should check it out! "It's okay not to be okay, sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart. But tears don't mean you're loosing, everybody's bruising. There's nothing wrong with who you are."

The sixth song is by Miley Cyrus, I'm sure you already know it, it's called The Climb. I don't really like Miley's music, well, I do, but I don't usually listen to it. But The Climb is really, really, really inspiring. "There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it move, always gonna be an uphill battle, sometime's I'm gonna have to loose, ain't about how fast I get there."

The seventh song is again by Selena Gomez & The Scene, called Hit The Lights, it's not like the other songs, but it really inspires me and makes me feel stronger and happier. I absolutely love it! "It's all the money that you're saving, while the good life passes by, it's all the dreams that never came true cuz you're too damn scared to try."

The last song is by the beautiful Kelly Clarkson and it's called Stronger. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone. What doesn't kill you makes you a fighter, footsteps even lighter, doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone." 

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.
♥

Feeling suicidal?

"Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this:

    You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the

 letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. 

    A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. 

    The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. 

   Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. 

   It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. 

It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. 

People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you."

Stay strong,

You're beautiful.

♥

Sexual abuse.

What is sexual abuse?

At the extreme end of the spectrum, sexual abuse includes sexual intercourse or its deviations. Yet all offences that involve sexually touching a child, as well as non-touching offenses and sexual exploitation, are just as harmful and devastating to a child’s well-being.

Touching sexual offenses include:

• Fondling;
• Making a child touch an adult’s sexual organs; and
• Penetrating a child’s vagina or anus no matter how slight with a penis or any object that doesn’t have a valid medical purpose.

Non-touching sexual offenses include:

• Engaging in indecent exposure or exhibitionism;
• Exposing children to pornographic material;
• Deliberately exposing a child to the act of sexual intercourse; and
• Masturbating in front of a child.

Sexual exploitation can include:

• Engaging a child or soliciting a child for the purposes of prostitution; and
• Using a child to film, photograph or model pornography.

These definitions are broad. In most states, the legal definition of child molestation is an act of a person—adult or child—who forces, coerces or threatens a child to have any form of sexual contact or to engage in any type of sexual activity at the perpetrator’s direction.

What should you look into if you suspect your child is being sexually abused?

Children who are sexually abused may exhibit behavioral changes, based on their age.

Children up to age 3 may exhibit:

• Fear or excessive crying
• Vomiting
• Feeding problems
• Bowel problems
• Sleep disturbances
• Failure to thrive

Children ages 2 to 9 may exhibit:

• Fear of particular people, places or activities
• Regression to earlier behaviors such as bed wetting or stranger anxiety
• Victimization of others
• Excessive masturbation
• Feelings of shame or guilt
• Nightmares or sleep disturbances
• Withdrawal from family or friends
• Fear of attack recurring
• Eating disturbances

Symptoms of sexual abuse in older children and adolescents include:

• Depression
• Nightmares or sleep disturbances
• Poor school performance
• Promiscuity
• Substance abuse
• Aggression
• Running away from home
• Fear of attack recurring
• Eating disturbances
• Early pregnancy or marriage
• Suicidal gestures
• Anger about being forced into situation beyond one’s control
• Pseudo-mature behaviors

[All information above is from here & here. Feel free to go and read more about it.]

Sexual abuse is usually performed on the child by it's parents, close family members, teacher, older siblings, babysitter. Scary, right? But sadly, it's true.
.

My advice to anyone who has suffered from this is to immediately speak to your parents (I know how hard it is, I personally had to text my mum as I couldn't possibly say it to her face!) and get professional help (speak to a therapist). And always keep in mind that this is NOT your fault. You're beautiful, and a wonderful person. Who did that to you is the one to fully blame.


Stay strong,
You''re beautiful.
♥

Cyberbullying!

Almost all teenagers today use the Internet. It's a huge part of their lives. Sadly, it isn't a perfect place to be. Things such as cyber bullying occur and it can get to the point where the victim ends their life. Perfect example? Amanda Todd.


"Cyberbullying" is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyberstalking is NEVER called cyberbullying.

Cyberbullying can sometimes be worse than bullying at school, because these comments or posts are always there for everyone to see. These words constantly haunt the victim, and causes them a lot of emotional trauma. They feel sad, humiliated, embarrassed, angry, scared and hurt. People say that words don't hurt, but that's untrue. All it takes is one hurtful word to slip out that brings someone's self-esteem crashing down. Yet, it takes hundreds, if not thousands of compliments to bring their self-esteem back up. And no one deserves to suffer from having such low-esteem to the point that they feel like they don't belong, that they aren't loved nor wanted, they might even get suicidal thoughts. Then what if they act upon these thoughts successfully and commit suicide? How would you be able to live with yourself? It's easier to keep these comments to yourself no matter what you think of that person. No matter how they dress, how they look, what they believe in, whether they're straight, bisexual, gay, over weight, have bad grades, are single, no longer virgins, going out with your ex... You have no right to insult them or put them down. It's their life, their decisions. You might not think it's right, hell, they might even not think it's right either, so they probably torment themselves about these decisions enough for you to do it too! Just let them be.

It's hard to ignore these hurtful comments. I've been called a whore, ugly, a terrorist, stupid, fat, constantly bullied and picked on because of my decisions. At first, I stayed strong and these words didn't effect me, yet, they kept coming and coming and coming and at some point they started hurting me. I'd read someone's comment, and I feel like someone just punched me straight in the face or a truck hit me. But then I pulled myself together and became determined to stay strong and defend myself so I would kindly respond to their messages by saying something clever but not insulting (kill 'em with kindness! Don't bully them in return.) The things I was sent came from anonymous people, so I could even block them! I then decided to just delete that account and move on. It was an ask.fm account. Then I just had to work on bringing my self-esteem back up which wasn't easy! But, I'm getting there.

If you're cyberbullied, I highly suggest you speak to someone about it, not necessarily reporting it (you can if it's threats) but just let someone know what's going on because you need support through this. Preferably, speak to your friend/partner about it, as parents tend to focus on the bad language more than how the comments effect you. But, if you feel like you can talk to your parents about it, then go ahead. It's good for them to be aware of what's going on in your life. Just try and explain how these comments are effecting you if they don't seem understanding at first. If you can't talk to them, or can't talk to a friend or whoever for whatever reason, then contact me! I'm here for you.

You should also delete these comments if possible, if not, just report them online (you can usually do that on sites like twitter, facebook, tumblr... ect) also if they're your "friend" on facebook or wherever, block and delete them. People who bring you down don't deserve to be in your life, and you certainly don't need such horrid people in yours either! If these comments become threatening, depending on where you live, you should be able to report it to the police. Don't be afraid, do it! These people will stop.

Try not to let these comments effect you, most people cyberbully to feel like they've got power, or to seem 'cool', or they're just jealous of you and they want to bring you down! Don't let them achieve what they want. Come out of this stronger and smile. Show them that their comments don't and never will effect you negatively. Focus on the positive side of this: it will all make you a stronger person. :)

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.
♥

The Butterfly Project.

Hey, gorgeous! :)

I don't know if you've heard about The Butterfly Project or not, but after I posted about self-harm, I decided to share with you guys a really effective way to help you stop cutting, or any other problem such as throwing up, smoking...etc. Personally, this hasn't really helped me, but, it has helped so many people I know, and it's a generally successful way to stop you self-harming.

Here are the rules:

1. Draw a butterfly on your wrist or wherever you cut when you feel the need to do so, using a pen, a marker, or whatever.

2. Name that butterfly after someone who means a lot to you. A family member, a friend, a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, a celebrity crush (it might sound stupid to some, but some celebs actually mean the world to some people).

3. If you feel the urge to self-harm again, draw another butterfly.

4. If you cut once, all of these butterflies die. If you don't, they all live.

5. If you want, you can ask someone you love to draw a butterfly on your wrist, these butterflies are extra special. You must take care off them!

6. Don't wash off these butterflies, let them fade away naturally.

7. Most importantly: don't kill these butterflies! Take good care of them.

Keep this up until the urge to self-harm disappears.

If you read this, and decide to start doing it, feel free to send us pictures of your butterfly/butterflies to StayStrongYall@hotmail.com or tweet them to us @YallStayStrong or post them on our facebook wall here and we will put them up here for motivation and to show support.

If you don't self-harm, then you can still draw these butterflies to show support, and you can still send us pictures!

You can do this, I'm here supporting each and everyone of you. It's hard, but it's possible!

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.
♥

Low self-esteem... Insecure?

I am sure that probably everyone has went through a phase in their life where every morning, they'd look in the mirror and think, "Eww, is that a donkey's arse?" And honestly, no one should have to go through that feeling of having such low self-esteem, that they don't want to go out, take pictures, or even look in the mirror. The feeling of walking outside and feeling so odd, so out of place, so ugly, so fat, so weird... Sucks, right?

Can I first partly blame the media for such wide spread insecurity especially among teenagers. Cover girls, celebrities and models appear flawless and super skinny. They're so skinny, it actually looks painful. Women aren't supposed to look like that! They are supposed to be curvy. If your BMI level is good according to your height and your weight, then you certainly don't need to starve yourself or over work your body by working out! And also please keep in mind that they have professional make-up artists that do their make-up that certainly adds so much to their beauty and makes them seem angelic, gorgeous and completely flawless. Stars like Scarlett Johansson have had plastic surgery to fix their features and adds to their beauty! There's also a make-up technique called shadowing. It basically hides parts of certain features. A perfect example of it is HERE where an Asian makes herself into the spitting image of Scarlett Johansson! Also, don't forget that most pictures of celebs are heavily edited, air-brushed and photo shopped. If you went for a photo shoot, celeb style, you'd look just as flawless, okay. I promise.

Something to help y'all with insecurity:

You have to believe that you are beautiful to feel beautiful. A great way to make yourself believe that is by looking in the mirror and forcing yourself into having positive thoughts about your face, your body, your personality (not that you can see it in the mirror or anything but yeah lol). You could also put up little stickers around your room, your mirror, the bathroom that say "I'm beautiful." and stuff like that :) you might not notice a change, but after reading these signs everyday, your mind subconsciously starts believing it. Therefore a great confidence boost.

Don't believe it if people say you're ugly, fat, hideous or whatever. Most of them are secretly jealous of you and your beautiful smile so they just want you to get down, so kill 'em with kindness and don't let their comments effect you. Hard, I know, but you have to stay strong!

Also, a lot of people believe that they are never good enough. Truth is? You won't ever be good enough for everyone. No one is. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all screw up and make mistakes, yet you have to learn from these mistakes to become stronger, happier and wiser. As long as you're fine with what you have or have not achieved, then that's all that matters! No one should interfere or judge you based on that. But don't set goals that are too high, that's like aiming to never being able to feel good enough! Set reasonable goals and work hard to achieve them. You are never not good enough, you're in this current position because that's how God wanted you to be, and if you're good enough in his eyes, then screw everyone else!

You are beautiful in somebody's eyes. I promise. No one is ugly in this world, everyone has different opinions on beauty and no one will be found beautiful by everyone. Each and every person has their own different opinions, and that means you'll always be the most beautiful person ever in that special someone's eyes. So stop being so insecure and start believing how beautiful you are, most importantly: start seeing it!

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.
♥