Monday, March 18, 2013

I get it.

I get it. I know what if feels like. To feel like you don't even matter to anyone, to feel like nobody wants you around. To feel like nobody wants to talk to you, spend time with or call you their friend. To spend lunch alone listening to music and waiting for it to be over so you can go to class where it looks like you're concentrating, but you just don't have any friends to get distracted by. And it doesn't even matter anyways, because you aren't even paying attention. You're wishing you could be anywhere else but this world, because even the teacher picks on you. Then in gym you put on sweats and a hoodie to hide your scars, even though you're already too hot. You get picked last, again. Then you finally go home and cry or cut and just lay there numb in your room, hoping your parents don't come and make you do stuff. At dinner, you barely eat anything because you feel too fat, even though you aren't. Then finally, you get to go to bed and finally sleep. But not yet, because your thoughts are gonna keep you up for hours, thinking about dying and how no one likes you. How you're pathetic in every way. You finally fall asleep and have a terrible dream. Or a dream about good old memories which makes you want and miss them more more. But you know they're never coming back. I get it.



I just lay in my bed, thinking about everything. Thinking about the people who have walked in and out of my life without saying goodbye. The guys I've liked who have played me, or used me. I think about how dumb I was to get my hopes up too fast. I think about school and how I should try a lot harder. I think about I care about what others think about me. I really shouldn't care because this is me and no one can change that. I think about my family and how close we all used to be, now we're drifting slowly and painfully. I think about later on in life, and how I'm going to turn out. Then I just close my eyes and cry. Cry because of sadness. Because of anger. I'm depressed and it hurts. Especially at night. When I just want life to end.


But then, you get through that phase. After endless nights of crying, hurting, tormenting yourself over something you said or did, you just realise that there is no point. You're a human, you're going to make mistakes. Not everyone is going to accept you. But there'll always be someone who wants to be your friend. You're never alone no matter what you're going through, someone is always there who can understand you. One day, you will realise that you are good enough, you will stop caring about what people think. You finally surround yourself by people who love you and ignore all people who don't like you because, well, that's their problem, not yours!

HEY YOU... yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else, that person probably wants to be someone else too! Or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Someone completely different likes you! Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. They really aren't worth your time. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things, you wouldn't be you. And that you is unique. There is no one who is exactly like you. Never has been, never will be. And why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates you because you are happy with yourself. Then stuff them! Your happiness will not depend on others anymore. Say to them, "I am happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me, me. And that "me" is pretty darn amazing." they will stop harassing you. They will actually get jealous and want to have the same attitude as you. Just live your life the way you want to. Live your life to make yourself happy. Stop caring about people who want to bring you down. They'll grow up one day and focus on themselves.



Be positive, beautiful. Embrace yourself for who you are. Someone out there thinks you're perfect.


Stay strong, okay?
I'm always here for any of you.
You're so beautiful.

9 comments:

  1. This is beautiful. I couldn't have put it better myself <3

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    1. This made me cry like six times omg im still crying thank u so much means the world to me

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  2. Thank you very much You just described half of my life. unfortunatelly I am a Boy Can you give some advices,please? about making more friends because I feel that I am not liked to be around the 'fake' friends I have . And my parents are separated from the day I was born.......... and every time my birthday comes (when i was younger) something terrible happens (like when I invited someone to my birthday party his eye was injured.......) the new wife of my father called me the trouble maker and that I always bring bad luck to everyone I meet. I don't know If it's just a coinsidence but it happened about 4 or 5 times :'( .and i hate going to my father now & live with my mother and grand-mother thank you very much and sorry because It's too long and thank you again

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    1. I wrote this post in reply to your comment, hun. http://staystrongyall.blogspot.com/2013/11/it-isnt-your-fault.html

      It is all coincidence. It isn't your fault. Tell yourself that until you believe it. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. But hang in there, hunny. If you want to talk about what you're going through more, you can email me at staystrongyall@hotmail.com
      Stay strong! ♥

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    2. Thank you for replying I will try .........

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    3. Please don't forget that I'm here to talk to you whenever you want. Stay strong.

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  3. Thank you so much♥

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  4. You're really sweet and amazing, thank you so much for this. I needed this ♥

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