Tuesday, November 19, 2013

It Isn't Your Fault.

I got a comment from somebody Anonymous yesterday, and as I started to reply, I decided to write up a post instead. Because a little comment wasn't enough. And because so many people struggle with similar issues like this one.

Before I start, can I just say that no matter who you are, where you come from, how old you are, what you've done, or if you're a boy or a girl. Your welcome here.
I've noticed that people assume these issues are something girls go through. Boys have feelings too. It's okay to be upset. To love. To cry. To struggle with something. All you boys out there are more than welcome here.

We all have bad days. We all struggle with something every now and again. Whether it's parents divorcing, friends turning on you, bad accidents... You get the idea. It isn't your fault. No matter how you act, how angry or happy you make your parents, if they aren't happy together, they will divorce. But it has nothing to do with you. You can't blame yourself. They just weren't happy together anymore.

It's the same thing with loosing your friends. If you know you made a mistake and you can identify it, then apologise to them, and try to gain their trust again. But if you guys just don't get along anymore, don't blame yourself. People change, they mature and grow. They develop different ideas about things. They start wanting different things from life. They start having different goals. Then you maybe won't have anything in common anymore and just don't see a future for your friendship. Some friendships survive a lot, but others don't. If a friendship ends like this, don't blame yourself and feel guilty. Don't let it bring you or your confidence down. There are billions of people on this planet. Are you trying to tell me that you won't find one good, loyal friend out of billions? Go out, smile, be friendly. Meet new people. Just remember to be yourself. You will meet idiots. But you will meet good people too. Meeting idiots means you learn how to deal with them and cut them out of your life. Meeting good people means, hopefully, a start of a healthy friendship. Take a risk!

If you have fake friends who constantly put you down, cut the friendship. In my opinion, this is a form of bullying. Friends aren't meant to make you feel bad about yourself. It's called a toxic friendship. End it! You deserve good friends. People who love you for who you are. People you can trust. People you can talk to about anything. People you can laugh with. People who you're comfortable being yourself around. People who won't judge you. People who have your back no matter what. That's what friendship is about. And you deserve a proper friendship. Don't try arguing with me about that. No matter who you are, no matter what you have done, you deserve another chance. You deserve your own shot at happiness. You deserve good friends. It's okay to be happy and let life look up for you. No one deserves to be unhappy.

Loosing someone you love, seeing someone you love get hurt, witnessing a car accident, or anything like that, please know that it isn't your fault. Don't go around blaming yourself.
"If only I did this.." "If only I was a few minutes early, this wouldn't have happened..."
I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. No matter how shitty life can get. And how horrible things happen everyday. I honestly believe that there is good in every horrible thing that happened. Anyone can teach themselves to look at the positive things in life. Looking at the negative, you will be unhappy. And to be happy again, you have to change. It's okay to be sad and to cry. But it's not okay to be sad and to cry all the time. Take your time to mourn, to be sad, to cry, to let your feelings out. Then wipe away those tears, tell yourself that you're strong enough to get through this, put a smile on your face and look at the positive thing from your situation. If you can't, focus on life's positive sides.

I'll leave you guys with a beautiful quote:
"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they find the best in everything they have."
Think about it.

Stay strong.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Dear Sexual Abuse Survivor

"Dear Sexual Abuse Survivor,

I know what it feels like. I know what to feels like to wake up everyday and look at yourself in the mirror and try to accept what has happened to you. Try to fight away the guilt, telling yourself it isn't your fault. Try to convince yourself that it's okay. That you'll soon forget. 

Truth is, you don't. I'm not going to lie. But you don't ever forget. It is permanent scarring. It will always be there. It will always effect you. But you can control it. You can eventually stop jumping and snapping at whoever touches you. For me, it's people who are close to me that effect me most. I can't bear being touched in any way. Especially adults like parents, uncles, aunts... Maybe it's because my abuser is close family. And even though I trust these figures... I just, I don't know. Them touching them makes me feel very uncomfortable and I get those unwanted flashbacks. 

Sexual abuse effects are different in each person. Another effect I hate is how I can't hug my baby sister or any other little kid, or hold them in my lap without feeling like a nasty pervert if I find my hand on their legs, lower stomach...etc. Even though it's completely innocent, I feel uncomfortable. So now, I'd rather just avoid physical contact with little kids. If I lay down on my bed and realise my hand is next to my chest or lower stomach I feel disgusted by myself and quickly pull my hands away. I'm not sure why. But I hate it. One of the worst effects is how I can't have a healthy relationship with anyone. I have a boyfriend now, we've been together for a while now and despite how comfortable I am with him, I can't sleep with him. I get too uncomfortable and if I force myself to go through with it, I feel miserable, depressed, disgusting and guilty for days... sometimes weeks after. And that takes a huge toll on our relationship. I'm terrified I'll never have a healthy relationship. 

I hate what my abuser did to me. I have no confidence, I am depressed, and I'm finding it very hard to move on from it all. I see a therapist who helps me a lot. But it takes so long to get better. I wish I was stronger. I feel sorry that my boyfriend isn't with someone healthy, someone who won't cry herself to sleep if he touches her in the wrong way. Someone who won't freak out if she's standing in the corner of an elevator full of men. Someone who doesn't curse men and their disgusting sexual desires that are supposed to be a natural part of life. A part of life that I just can't seem to accept. 

But I honestly believe, that one day, I will get better. I will be happy again. I will learn how to trust. How to love. How to be strong. Crying helps, writing helps, talking helps, praying helps, music helps, screaming helps. It's a long, hard journey to get better. But it's possible. I promise you. I've spoken to many people who were able to somewhat move on from their traumas. It really is possible.

Keep fighting. Fight hard. It's worth it. Keep in mind that non of what has happened is your fault. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to love and be loved. You really do. Please believe that."

This was emailed to me from a beautiful 19 year old girl, who wishes to remain anonymous. I re-wrote this for her as English isn't her first language. I hope this helps you survivors out there, or helps you to understand other survivors.

Stay strong & beautiful, y'all.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

"I attempted suicide five times."

I am starting up a new Stay Strong Project, where I'm going to be interviewing a bunch of incredibly strong and inspiring people, and sharing their stories with you. Nothing is more inspiring or motivating than real life stories about real people. Just to show you that you're not alone. There is always someone out there who gets exactly what you're going through.

Before we get started, I just want to send out a huge apology for not updating my blog in SO long. It's been nearly 5 months. There is no valid excuse for my laziness and lack of motivation but in my defense, I have been super busy with my engagement and then my exams and then so many other family issues and god knows what else. I will try my best to get back into a routine and keep you all happy while actually writing something worthwhile that hopefully reaches out to everyone struggling and gives them hope or puts a smile on their face.

This is such an inspirational story about such a beautiful 18 year old. I am so excited to share this interview with you.

Hello, thank you so much for willing to do this and help out with this project to inspire so many people. 
Hi! Thanks for letting me be a part  of this amazing project. I am here to share my own experience with bullying and other issues. 
My name is Aines. I am 18, and this is my senior year. I can't say bullying is over for me because it's not, but I am trying to fight back and most importantly STAY STRONG through it all. 

When did the bullying start?
I guess bullying started when i was about 8 years old, at school. I was bullied and tormented throughout most of my school days. 

Did you know why people were bullying you? 
You name it, I got bullied for it. Being one of the smart kids, being poor, not having nice clothes or my own car when I turned 15. I just didn't fit in with the other girls. I never did.

Were you physically or mentally bullied? 
I was beaten up, called names, made fun of, ostracized from most of my peers and was just made to feel like an outcast.

How did the bullying effect you?
They pushed me on lockers, laughed at me, hit me. It made me hate my life and myself. I wanted to just dissapear. I felt worthless, so I started cutting myself and I eventually became depressed..... Until Justin (Bieber) came along. He made me smile and just forget about the bullies. From his music, his interviews, his tweets, he somehow made me realize that there is some hope somewhere out there. He & his beliebers (Justin Bieber's enormous fanbase)  helped me stop cutting, and so did Bring Me The Horizon because Oli sykes always told us that we need to just let it out and remember that bullies are just haters and we can move on and fight back!

Did you stand up for yourself when you got bullied?
It's not that I didn't fight back. I can fight, In fact, I got into four fights in one school year, all on defending myself. However, I had to start fighting off of school grounds because all of this fighting was not looking good on my school record.

Did you ever mention the bullying to your parents or teachers? If yes, have they done something about it?
Yes, I did mention bullying to my parents, but they said you will move on and you will grow up.

How has your depression effected your life?
After I started cutting myself, I started getting more and more depressed and that was hard. It still is. I couldn't even go out. I didn't want to do anything or even see anyone. It's awful.
 What caused you to first attempt suicide? What was going on through your mind?
Some girls sent me an evil letter, telling me I am stupid, and worthless, and that I should die and just give up and kill myself.
That got to me. It pushed me over the edge. I couldn't stop crying for 3 hours straight. Then I got a blade out and cut my left wrist, hoping to bleed to death. I was rushed into the ER, and somehow, I was saved. I tried again. I tried to kill myself five times. 

How do you feel about those bullies today?
I'm not the type to hold a grudge. I'm very forgiving, and I'm cool with many of the folks that bullied me. Many of them have apologized to me and my mother for making my childhood hard. There is no weakness in forgiveness.

Do you have anything or anyone who helps you when you're down?
My faith in God, plus my strong willed nature and Beliebers' support have helped me to overcome my demons from the past. When Justin (Bieber) came along. He made me smile and just forget about the bullies. From his music, his interviews, his tweets, he somehow made me realize that there is some hope somewhere out there. He & his beliebers (Justin Bieber's enormous fanbase)  helped me stop cutting, and so did Bring Me The Horizon because Oli sykes always told us that we need to just let it out and remember that bullies are just haters and we can move on and fight back!

Would you say everything you've been through had made you a better person?
You have to move on, and not let bad moments turn you into a monster. I feel I became a better man as a result of my experiences. It all taught me a lot.

How are you feeling today?
I appreciate everything I have accomplished in life because I have earned it. I could have taken a left turn and ended up dead. But instead, I am a positive, educated, productive member of my society, and I am proud of who I am. Life is full of choices and I was determined at a young age that these mean children were not going to get the best of me. They all most did. But today, they motivate me and continue to do so to this day. 
What advice would you give people who are going through similar troubles as you?
Defend yourself. Stand strong and don't back down. Try to refrain from weapons if possible. Take up boxing or MMA at your local Y, gym, or join a self-defense class. Find an adult you trust to help. This can be a parent, guardian, teacher, coach, pastor or even a positive mentor. Let's end bullying once and for all.

If you want to directly contact Aines, you can find her on twitter: @crownthebiebz. 

Thank you for reading. If you want to submit your story or get interviewed, email me: staystrongyall@hotmail.com or leave your email in the comment section bellow and I will get back to you. 

Stay strong,
You're beautiful, and you better start believing it.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Since when did wanting attention become such a crime?

"She just wants attention."

That ridiculous phrase that everyone seems to say at one point. Since when did it become such a crime to want attention? We are humans. And whether you like to admit it or not, you want attention. It's only natural. We all want to feel loved, noticed and appreciated on different levels.

People wonder why suicide rates are raising like crazy. Those people who kill themselves do want help. They want to talk to someone and they want attention. But because society has made out wanting attention to be such a crime, people are afraid to speak up about how they feel and it will lead to disaster.

No one is an "attention whore", a term used commonly today. We are all different and each people need different levels of attention. It is part of the human nature. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

If you are going to call anyone who opens up, speaks about how they feel, hurt themselves in anyway attention whores and attention seekers, then they are going to get more and more afraid of speaking up and then everything will just get worse for them.

We are humans. We need to talk about how we feel. It's in our nature that we need other people. We can't live completely isolated. Even if it's from just one person, we all want attention. We all want to be noticed.
It's quite sad that when people hear about someone who has an eating disorder or they harm themselves, they say, "Oh, it's just another teenager who wants some attention."

First of all, NO. It's more than just attention. These are seriously, medically recognised mental disorders. Everyone should educate themselves more on these subjects.

Secondly, even if it was about attention, why is that such a bad deal? That person is hurting and they maybe just want somebody to care about them and be there for them.

If that's such a huge crime, then I'm moving to the moon.

If we really want to help people and be there for them. We need to get the idea that everything people do is just attention seeking. We also need to accept that it's normal to want attention. It's part of human nature. If someone needs attention and wants to feel noticed, loved and cared about. Give them some of your attention. It seriously won't hurt!

But keep in mind that some people have attention disorders like ADD. So it would be good to look up on those kind of disorders and educate yourself on them so that you know how to deal with people who suffer from those kind of disorders.

This has turned out to be some kind of rant. I'm sorry if this is short. But yeah, I just wanted to get something out there.

Wanting attention isn't a crime!

Stay strong, guys.
You're so beautiful.

P.S "like" my Facebook page for daily inspirational updates!

Monday, March 18, 2013

I get it.

I get it. I know what if feels like. To feel like you don't even matter to anyone, to feel like nobody wants you around. To feel like nobody wants to talk to you, spend time with or call you their friend. To spend lunch alone listening to music and waiting for it to be over so you can go to class where it looks like you're concentrating, but you just don't have any friends to get distracted by. And it doesn't even matter anyways, because you aren't even paying attention. You're wishing you could be anywhere else but this world, because even the teacher picks on you. Then in gym you put on sweats and a hoodie to hide your scars, even though you're already too hot. You get picked last, again. Then you finally go home and cry or cut and just lay there numb in your room, hoping your parents don't come and make you do stuff. At dinner, you barely eat anything because you feel too fat, even though you aren't. Then finally, you get to go to bed and finally sleep. But not yet, because your thoughts are gonna keep you up for hours, thinking about dying and how no one likes you. How you're pathetic in every way. You finally fall asleep and have a terrible dream. Or a dream about good old memories which makes you want and miss them more more. But you know they're never coming back. I get it.

I just lay in my bed, thinking about everything. Thinking about the people who have walked in and out of my life without saying goodbye. The guys I've liked who have played me, or used me. I think about how dumb I was to get my hopes up too fast. I think about school and how I should try a lot harder. I think about I care about what others think about me. I really shouldn't care because this is me and no one can change that. I think about my family and how close we all used to be, now we're drifting slowly and painfully. I think about later on in life, and how I'm going to turn out. Then I just close my eyes and cry. Cry because of sadness. Because of anger. I'm depressed and it hurts. Especially at night. When I just want life to end.

But then, you get through that phase. After endless nights of crying, hurting, tormenting yourself over something you said or did, you just realise that there is no point. You're a human, you're going to make mistakes. Not everyone is going to accept you. But there'll always be someone who wants to be your friend. You're never alone no matter what you're going through, someone is always there who can understand you. One day, you will realise that you are good enough, you will stop caring about what people think. You finally surround yourself by people who love you and ignore all people who don't like you because, well, that's their problem, not yours!

HEY YOU... yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else, that person probably wants to be someone else too! Or wishing people liked you as much as they like someone else. Someone completely different likes you! Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. They really aren't worth your time. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things, you wouldn't be you. And that you is unique. There is no one who is exactly like you. Never has been, never will be. And why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It'll draw people in. If anyone hates you because you are happy with yourself. Then stuff them! Your happiness will not depend on others anymore. Say to them, "I am happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me, me. And that "me" is pretty darn amazing." they will stop harassing you. They will actually get jealous and want to have the same attitude as you. Just live your life the way you want to. Live your life to make yourself happy. Stop caring about people who want to bring you down. They'll grow up one day and focus on themselves.

Be positive, beautiful. Embrace yourself for who you are. Someone out there thinks you're perfect.

Stay strong, okay?
I'm always here for any of you.
You're so beautiful.

Awesome Teenage Blogger Award!

Hey, guys! 

I've just gotten my very first award ever, and I am so excited and happy. When I first saw the comment about me getting an award, I thought it was spam or just a joke, lmao. I am so happy. 
A big, fat, huge, gigantic, enormous thank you to Fatima Hayat from Craft 360 who  gave me this award. You've made my day, and motivated me to come up with a few blog posts as I haven't been blogging recently!
I would like to thank my shadow for always being there for me, my siblings for annoying the crap out of me, my bed for being such a welcoming friend, my computer for introducing me to the world of blogging, my parents for paying for the internet and most importantly my cat Louis and my dog - wait, I don't even have a dog.
But seriously, thank you, Fatima!

*happy dances*

The rules are:

1. Thanks the person who gave you this award and copy the rules to a new post on your own blog. 
2. Answer the 3 introduction questions and the 4 questions asked by the kind person who awarded you.
3. Tag between 1 to 100 other bloggers aged twenty years or younger.
4. Think of 4 more questions to ask your lucky recipients and inform them that they have won an award!

 Introduction Questions (To help us all to get to know each other!): 

Question # 1
 Which 5 words would you use to describe your personality? Is your blogging personality anyway different from your real-life one?
A: Hmmmm: weird, friendly, shy, bubbly and a pervert. (yes, I just called myself a pervert. I tend to think the nasty side of normal things. sigh.) I'm not exactly sure, but I think my blogging personality is the same as my real-life one. I'm not sure though, to be quite honest.

Question # 2 
Where in the world do you live and who with?
A: I live in Algeria, I live with my mum, dad, five brothers, two sisters and two tortoises. And a cat. Or two. Or three. Or non. Idk.

Question # 3
 When did you start blogging and why?
A: I asked mum to make me a blog when I was like 12 (four years ago, nearly five) or something. I actually thought a blog was facebook and when she made me a blog I was like, "whaaaat, i asked for a blog not this!" when she finally understood that for me facebook was a blog, she sadly said no to me making a facebook account so I decided to just start blogging. I started this blog in November 2012 though. 

Extra Questions (the award winner will redesign these each time):

 Question #4
whats your dream place to live after ten years? and why?
A: I don't really have a dream place. Am I supposed to?I wouldn't mind living with Justin Bieber in ten years though, wherever he'll be living then. Don't judge, I'm awesome okay.

Question # 5
Have you ever done anything dishonest/foolish? Did you learn from it?
A: I can't think of anything right now, but I probably have and probably did learn from it. 

Question # 6
whats your favorite subject and worst subject at school? and why?
A: My favourite subject is Maths because I just love it. It's really fun once you get the hang of it. Worst? Probably history, because I'm a lazy git who never learns anything.

Question #7
 If someone asked you to give them a random piece of advice, what would you say? 
A: Don't let a society stereotype define who you are. Live life the way you want and be happy. 

Now to the nominees. I'll like to pass this blogger award onto:
(this is embarrassing because I actually can't think of a teenage blogger because all the blogs I read are my mum's friends' blogs. this is actually quite sad. I can only think of one.... Sigh. )

Nina Marinkovic she is a hilarious, random, awesome blogger who never fails to make me smile. Everyone should go and check her out! 

And if you're another teenage blogger reading this, feel free to do this, okay? I just don't read lots of blogs, sadly. 

 My 4 questions for you all to answer (plus the 3 introduction questions) are:
  1. If you had one minute to tell the whole world something, what would you say?
  2. What is your all time favourite song and why?
  3. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?
  4. Do you like The Hunger Games? (if you don't, I'm judging you)

P.S if you actually do do this. please drop me a comment, I'd love to read yours! :)

Stay strong, people.
Life is good.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013


"Look up to the sky. This will work well today because the sky is blue. Can you hear the birds singing? Well this is your planet. Whether you believe in God or not it’s pretty flipping brilliant. 
Every time you see something bad, blink again and see something amazing. So, for example: it’s raining. That water has been around since the beginning of time. Those atoms have shifted and changed formation but has been in existence since forever. They’ve seen so many lives and been digested by so many people. And so have you. You are made up of the atoms from stars. 
You are a marvel of fate or chance or whatever you believe in. Trillions of cells make up your body each containing a recipe for you that is unique to anything the world has ever seen. 
You could feel this makes you insignificant, and it does in the scene of things but actually it make you important. You are part of all this whether you like it or not. You’re destined to exist and if any one person is not here the whole world shifts because we all affect each other.
Remember half of you was the winning sperm and no-one can ever take that way from you, not this illness, not anyone. You are YOU. 
You have a brain and most importantly the most amazing thing created so far. Consciousness. 
You’re beautiful, intelligent and you have everything going for you. The world can be yours if you reach out and grab it.
Now smile, you’re ALIVE. And I believe that the purpose of being alive is to be happy and for those around you to be. So as long as anyone is conscious they can be happy because there will always be something to smile about – you’re able to think that. 
So you look at that sky and you say wow."

Stay strong,
I promise, you're beautiful.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

We are humans

No one should feel the need to hide their emotions and feelings. Stop saying, "I'm fine." and then wondering why nobody understands you, supports you, is there for you and helps you through life's obstacles. People aren't psychic, we need to tell them how they feel for them to help us. No, it isn't attention seeking. It's just asking for help. Help we all need. We are humans. We all need help, support, attention, love and affection.

We're all walking around with those glossy eyes. "I'm just tired," we say. But you know what? It's bullshit. Yes, we are tired, but it's not all from lack of sleep. We are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. We're tired of this void, this emptiness that presses down on us even though we're surrounded by dozens of people. So why can't we just say it? Humans are so afraid to look into each other's eyes and say, "I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and fallible." We've been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if those feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. Well, I say: screw all of that. Screw forces smiles and polite handshakes, and I'm fine, thank yous. Screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies we spit out to cover up our problems. We are humans. We are meant to feel. To feel everything and to feel it all openly. We are not metal - we are flesh and bone. Our boiled blood courses through or cold, clammy hands. We are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts, because if we do, then what's left to show?

I am here for you.
Stay strong,
You're insanely beautiful.

Monday, January 14, 2013

25 reasons why you shouldn't end your life.

Suicide. That constant act on your mind, debating whether to do it, planning on when to do it, or already writing your suicide note? Thinking how much your life sucks? How you don't want to cry yourself to sleep every night anymore? How you don't want to be bullied everyday? How you're sick of hearing your parents fight? How you're afraid of that abuser coming back and hurting you? How you're tired of feeling lonely? How you wish you had real friends? How you wish you had better grades? How you wish you were pretty, thin and good enough? Please just stop. Or at least, reevaluate your thoughts after reading all these reasons to not end your life: 

  1. It probably isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Over-thinking things make them seem a billion times worse. Try talking them out with someone and see how simple or stupid your problems may be.
  2. Think about those poor, starving children or those cancer patients fighting for their lives, or those people who lost everything in a natural disaster yet refuse to break down and still fight for a good life.
  3. Appreciate what you have instead of glooming over what you don't have. Your life isn't perfect. My life isn't perfect. Nobody's life is perfect. It's not only you.
  4. You are certainly not alone. There are millions of people who struggle with the same thoughts as you on a daily basis and fight those thoughts away. If they can do it, then so can you.
  5. You are good enough. You are pretty enough. You are clever enough. You are talented enough. You are strong enough. You can make your dreams come true. You can have a better life. You can not cry yourself to sleep every night. You can wake up feeling happy. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that every single day. You'll believe it eventually, I promise.
  6. Those haters and bullies want to see you down. Don't let them feel happy with you breaking down. Stay strong. 
  7. Stay strong just for that special one special in your life that you wake up everyday to see.
  8. Everyday is a new day. Being depressed over the past won't change anything. Forget the past. Live for today, and the future will be so much better.
  9. Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 
  10. Don't hurt all of your loved ones. You killing yourself will have unimaginable effects on them forever. They don't deserve to have their lives ruined because you decided to end your life. They will blame themselves no matter what your suicide note says. They will live forever miserable, angry, hurt and all asking that one question: why? 
  11. Ice-cream tastes good.
  12. Whatever you're going through will not last forever. Nothing ever does. Stay strong and wait for things to get better. 
  13. Imagine missing out on everything.... Growing up, meeting new people, having new chances, making new memories with your loved ones.
  14. What about the person who finds you dead? Think about how they'd feel. Would you really want to put them through such horror?
  15. You were brought into this world for a reason. So LIVE!
  16. Never seeing a new day, rain, sunshine, snow, children laughing, a rainbow again.
  17. Never being able to grow up more and make those haters realise that they were wrong all along. Work hard and come out more successful, happier and healthier than them. 
  18. Your life has a value whether you see it or not. Please don't end it.
  19. Missing out on all your favourite artists releasing new work.
  20. Missing out on those first dates... Those butterflies, taking a billion breath-mints.... all for that one special person.
  21. There is always somebody out there who wants you to live and can't imagine life without you.
  22. All that yummy food you will never be able to eat. 
  23. Seeing the iPhone 6! 
  24. You'll never watch the next episode of your favourite show, and you'll never see your favourite movie again.
  25. Once you kill yourself, you're gone. Finished. Bye bye. No one can bring you back. You'll never be able to try out the things you wanted, see places you wanted to see, meet new people, chase after your dreams, make new memories with the people you love. 
Please think about it properly. Do you really want to end everything? We all want to end all that pain and the hurt. But life also has those good little things in them. If you think about it properly, you'll be able to see all of those amazing little details about your life that you never noticed before. Life is so damn good no matter how much pain you're going through at this moment. Slap some sense into yourself and stop moping around. There are people who would do anything to have your life. Some people have absolutely nothing in their lives, yet they still find a reason to smile and a reason to fight harder for a better life. You have family, you have friends, you have a home, you have clothes to wear, you have food to eat, appreciate that for a change. Take a moment out of your day to reflect on your happy memories and all of the blessings that you have been blessed with and then hopefully, you will feel different about ending your own beautiful life.
No matter how many mistakes you have made, appologise, buy the person you hurt a gift. If they forgive you, then great! If they don't, then that is there problem. You have done what you can and that's what matters. We all make mistakes, don't constantly punish yourself for being human.

Stay strong,
You're so beautiful.
I promise.

Friday, January 11, 2013

How can I stay strong?

Everyone tells others to stay strong when they are going through a hard time. It seems like the typical thing to say now, especially between teenagers, but when I go through a hard time and people tell me to stay strong, I would sometimes think, "How can I stay strong, huh? It's easier said than done." Yes, it is.

Well, after years of pain, hardships, nightmares, tears and more pain (lol, i sound like a freaking 99 year old or something) I have reached the grand age of 16, when I'm wise enough to put together a few tips on how to stay strong.

  1. Cry: this sounds a little ironic because staying strong shouldn't mean crying and being "weak"... Crying usually says that we have been strong for too long. We are humans, the first step into becoming strong is just breaking down and crying it all out. Whether it's a few minutes or a few hours, just sit down, play a good emotional song, and just weep, sob, wail, scream... do the whole thing. Let all that anger, pain and frustration out. 
  2. Why should I stay strong? You can't stay strong through all of those hard times without knowing why you're staying strong. I can't tell you what the reasons are that you want to stay strong, because we are all different and we all have different lives, different stories and different reasons! But on a more general note: we all have a future, we are all going to graduate, move out of our parents' house, and then, all of those problems you had at school and home will be so stupid and so distant. You will have a new chance to have a different life. Everyday is a new chance in my opinion, but moving out/graduating is a whole different thing. It's where you're out there meeting new people, living with different ones, seeing different ones everyday. You won't be stuck in school with your bullies forever, you won't be imprisoned with your abusive brother forever, you won't be scared by that creepy neighbour forever. Everything ends. And you're staying strong, waiting for your problems to end where you can have a new start. Your problems will be solved, your issues will end. You don't even have to wait until you can move away from your problems, you can deal with them, face them and try to terminate them for good. 
  3. Accept what you're going through: whether you deserve it or not, whether your brought it on yourself or not, it is important to accept who you are, what is happening, what you are going through. This is life, don't expect it to be perfect. It can't be. And it would probably be boring anyway if it was. Just smile, and accept that you're going through problems. I've noticed that once I accept what I'm going through, it suddenly changes for the better.
  4. Physical strength: If you get insulted or hear things that bring you down, then make your muscles tense, that makes you feel strong physically and help you feel strong mentally.
  5. Accept your emotions: acknowledge your emotions and accept them. This will help you change your emotions into happier ones that help you to stay strong. 
  6. Do the opposite of what your emotions tell you to think: this makes you stronger emotionally.
  7. Laugh: whether you want to look something funny up, or just lie down and laugh for no reason. When I went to school, in 10th grade, our arabic teacher once cleared all the desks, put a little mat on the floor, told all the students to lay down our heads together to form a sort of circle, turned the lights off, then he'd crack a stupid joke and we'd all start laughing, and trust me, once one started, everyone joined in. We laughed for AGES. And let me tell you, we felt happy, relaxed and strong for like weeks afterwards. You should really try it out with your friends.
And just smile. Make the most of every day you have. Be grateful for what you have, some people would do anything to get an extra day where they're healthy, surrounded by their family and actually have a home. There is always somebody going through MUCH worse than you are, so just take a moment and feel happy, proud for who you are and grateful for what you have instead of focusing on what you don't have.
Remember, I'm always here for you. 

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Dealing with bullying.

"Nobody loves you, you may as well just kill yourself." "You're so fat, how can you even walk?" "You're too skinny, are you anorexic? Do you even eat?" 

Bullying. That dreadful behaviour that is such a common, wide-spread issue happening in schools everyday, all over the world.

Bullying has many forms, it can be verbal (when people insult you), psychological (spreading rumours about you, gossiping about you..etc) and physical (when you get pushed, tripped, punched, hit, beaten up, and in some cases, even sexually assaulted). It happens with both children and teenagers, and usually happens in schools. 

Bullying is an issue that should be taken more seriously. When a child speaks about being bullied to his/her parents (and that is rare), the parents don't class it as a serious issue, and just tell their children to stand up for themselves or to ignore it. Unfortunately, dealing with bullying isn't simple as that. Parents should support their children, investigate into this bullying, talk to the teachers/principal/parents of the bully, try and end this.

How to deal with bullying:

It is hard to deal with being bullied. Most people usually say to just ignore, but honestly, you shouldn't ignore it, you should face it, deal with it and try to stop it. Here's a few steps:

  • If you are bullied: don't be afraid to report the bullies to your teachers or the principal. Talk to your parents about it, explain to them what these people do/say and how it effects you. Your parents/teachers can't help unless you tell them about it. It also helps talking to your friends, or anyone else about it. Bottling up your emotions and feelings, and keeping everything to yourself has a bad effect on you. If you can, stand up to these bullies. If you show them that they don't effect you, they will back off. Bullies love seeing a reaction, whether is fear, sadness, hurt... that's what they're looking for. Don't let them see how their words or actions effect you.
  • If you know someone who is bullied: whether it's your friend, your neighbour, your class-mate, your cousin... It's always great to stand up for them if you see them being bullied. It might be an easy thing for you, especially if you are confident or able to stand up to those bullies, but it helps tremendously the bullied. Encourage them to talk about it, and report it or try to stand up for themselves. (Basically tell them what I have put above to the people who are bullied).
  • If your child is bullied: support them emotionally, be there for them, make them know how much you love them, and that they're great, special, important individuals. It's also important to talk to the teachers and even contact the parents of the bully. If it doesn't stop, don't give up. I know parents who have moved towns to get their kid into a better school because they were bullied in their previous ones. As a parent, your child will expect you to protect them, so it's your duty to stop the bullying and help your child deal with it. Encourage them to speak up and defend themselves. Don't be harsh on them, try to understand what they're going through. Being bullied can have a permanent, negative effect on your child's life. It must be stopped and dealt with in the correct manner.
Being bullied can lead to mental issues such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, self-harm disorders, and  low-self esteem, lack of confidence, insecurity. It can even lead to suicide. Proof: Amanda Todd.
No matter what a person does or looks like, no body deserves to be bullied. No one.

Bullies are most likely to have a criminal record and end up in prison when older. They are the kind of people who somehow enjoy hurting people and putting them down. Some do it because of a previous, damaging experience, and some do it to hide their lack of confidence, low self-esteem and the weakness. They do it to feel powerful and somehow get respect from others. It is important for teachers/parents to make the bully understand that bullying is wrong and doesn't help them. If they think that the bully has mental issues, he should get treated. I'm not saying don't punish the bully and just be kind on them. It depends on the type of bully and why they do that. Some bullies need help, some need to be punished, and it's up the parent/guardian to determine what to do to the bully and how to stop him bullying others.

People need to realise that no matter whether they're skinny, fat, medium, curvy, white, black, Asian, gay, straight, bisexual, pretty, "ugly"... or whatever, they are humans, they don't deserve to be put down for what they have or what they don't have. We are all humans, we all deserve to feel smart, happy, confident. We all deserve to be loved. Non of us deserve to be bullied. We are all different. Don't change yourself to fit in with society's rules. Be yourself and embrace yourself for who you are, because that's you, that's what makes you beautiful, unique and special. Not everyone might see your good qualities (yes, you DO have some brilliant qualities), but that doesn't mean you don't have any. People will start to notice if you embrace yourself and feel proud of yourself and who you are.

"You are born original, don't die a copy."

Remember, I'm always here for you if you want to talk or need help or advice. Just contact me, okay?

Stay strong,
You're beautiful.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Inspirational stories.

I've been working on a few blog posts that involve bullying, suicide, dealing with people, boosting your confidence and much more. It's taking a while because I want all my posts to be perfect, or close to perfect. So, I've decided to share with you a few inspirational stories about troubled teenagers recovering and growing into great adults!

Danielle's Struggle to Find Acceptance

Danielle grew up in a household where her parents were heavy drug users and alcoholics. Strangers came in and out of the house at all hours of the night. One night, a man came into Danielle's room and raped her. She was 13. She told her parents, who dismissed it, saying that she must have just had a nightmare. Danielle decided to run away from home and become a member of a popular gang in the community.She became very close to these people and admired them. They weren't the best role models for her, but she figured they cared more about her than her own parents. She felt that she'd better do what they wanted, or they might turn their backs on her too. She began stealing, assaulting people, and using drugs and alcohol. Shortly after, she ended up spending five years in a juvenile detention center for her crimes.While there, she started therapy and found a religion that she found comfort in. She learned why she joined the gang and how her life spiraled out of control. By the time her sentence was up, she was a public speaker and a peer mentor to some of the younger detainees. After her release, she attended college and became a child psychologist.

Amanda's Search for Real Love

When Amanda was seven years old, her father left her mother. This devastated her mother, and she began drinking heavily. One night, her mother went to jail for several DUIs and other charges. The court decided she was an unfit mother, and since there was no other family available to take care of Amanda, she went into the foster care system.
At first, it was great, because she finally was able to be a part of a family that really cared about her, or so she thought. A couple weeks after she moved in, her foster parents decided that it wasn't going to work, so Amanda was sent to another home. The second home wasn't as nice as the first one, but they took care of her better than her mother did. However, after three weeks, the agency determined that the foster home was not appropriate for foster care and Amanda went somewhere else. At her third foster home, she once again found a loving family. She stayed for four months and she finally thought she had found her home - that is until the family decided not to participate in foster care any longer.
By the sixth home, Amanda convinced herself that no one wanted her in this world. To alleviate those feelings, she started to dress in a way that would gain her a lot of attention and she would accept whatever affection she could get. This meant that she was highly promiscuous and put herself at risk for STDs and pregnancy. Actually, she said that she didn't care if she got pregnant because she wouldn't mind having a little baby to hold, cuddle, and love.
About a year later, Amanda did become pregnant, and the father didn't want anything to do with the baby. She was 15 and expecting a child. Since her foster parents weren't equipped to care for a baby, she was once again sent to another foster home. Not only did she bounce from home to home, her baby ended up having the same fate - that is until she finally found the one family that accepted her for who she was.
Because of this family's commitment, care, and love for Amanda, she was able to finish high school and attend college. It wasn't easy. She had to work two jobs, pay for childcare, and do her coursework, while taking care of her child. All the hard work paid off. She ended up graduating with a business degree and is the childcare director of a day care center.

Jessica's Rebellion Against Authority

Jessica came from a loving, affluent home. The only problem was that Jessica never felt good enough. Her parents wanted her to be the best at everything, and they wanted her to consider them her best friends. When Jessica reached adolescence, she decided that she could not take her parent's demands any longer and did everything she could to go against her parents' wishes, which included joining the wrong crowd, drinking, using drugs, and committing crimes. Her parents had no idea what had gotten into her and feared for her future. Jessica didn't care that she was headed down a bleak path. Her parents signed her up for a wilderness camp.
The wilderness camp involved vigorous activities and many scare straight tactics. Jessica was reminded everyday that if she didn't shape up, she would end up suffering consequences much worse in jail or prison. Once the camp was over, Jessica went home as a completely different and new individual. Her parents understand where they went wrong through family counseling, and they were as happy to have their daughter back as Jessica was to be back.

Stay strong, 
You're so beautiful.